This way of thinking genuinely changed my life

I’ve fallen in love here,
Steady on,
With the city,
The people,
The yoga,
The morning walks by the lake,
The opportunity to write this weekly email in the garden with the sun on my skin and my squirrel friend by my head,
The overpriced mint chocolate chip smoothie from the pretentious organic shop on south congress that I’ve promised myself once I finish this email.
 
I’m a bit sad to be leaving tomorrow,
Even though it’s temporary,
Even though my life at home is magical and I’ve so much to look forward to,
Even though I'm excited for those things.

I feel like I can be myself here,
Truly authentically me,
And we all flourish under those conditions,
So I'll be bringing this me back to the UK.
 
For this reason,
I was elated when the topic of Sunday service yoga this week was non attachment,
A Buddhist concept that infiltrates much of meditation and yoga philosophy,
So powerful when considered intentionally,
That I’m going to do my best to articulate it for you,
Favourite people,
In the hope that it brings you some comfort wherever you are in life right now,
And mostly in the hope that you reconsider your thoughts a little bit.
 
Non-attachment put simply,
Is “an engagement with experience with flexibility and without fixation on achieving specified outcome”.

Initially,
It seems to go against our very nature of being goal-orientated,
By asking that we let an experience pass without holding on to it,
Without being fixated on the outcome.
 
But when we practice non-attachment,
We do whatever would normally drive us,
But without fixation and the accompanied rumination and worry about getting everything right,
Without adhering to the societal- or self-imposed expectations about what our life should be like.
 
It’s basically like saying,
I’m going to go for this scary new job,
I’ll prep hard and show up as my best self,
But I’m going to trust that whether I get the job or not,
The outcome is the right one for me.
 
I suppose it’s similar to ‘it is what it is’,
But with the premise that the underlying work was there,
You put the intention out into the universe,
You did everything you could,
Then let whatever be, be.
 
It’s not easy,
I know some of you eagle eyed souls have noticed my growing attachment to this place,
To a few special parts of it that,
In an ideal world,
I’d be crystal clear on the secure outcome,
But the reality of life right now is that I can’t control that outcome,
Or immigration.
 
And I see this in you,
In all of us,
So often we attach to the outcome that we want,
We fixate so hard on it that we miss the joy of the process.
 
I see it in those of you who want to heal your relationship with food,
You’ve attached to this outcome of fat loss once you stop binge eating,
Happiness once you stop being so preoccupied by food,
You’re so fixated on it in fact,
That it stops you from fully embracing the process that you’re in now,
From finding the wins in leaving chocolate in the cupboard,
The open peanut butter jar,
From fully giving yourself unconditional permission to eat...
  
I see it in those of you looking to progress your career,
You’ve attached to the exact idea of what that looks like,
You forget that where you are right now is what needs nurturing,
Giving everything to where you are right now is actually how you progress.
 
Often,
The outcome of these situations is different from the outcome you expected,
And often,
It’s better than you could even have imagined.
But we risk that ‘better than we could imagine’ scenario by fixating on what we think things ‘should’ look like instead.

You know the old saying,
When one door closes, another one opens?
 
People stay in no longer healthful relationships,
They think the outcome should be a nuclear family,
Shutting themselves off to the potential of something even more magical,
Something that brings peace,
Attaching on to societal expectations instead.
 
We’re so attached to what we think our bodies should look like,
That we develop rigid rules and guilt around rest,
Missing out on the opportunity for a mindful 10 course meal,
And actually,
The positive body image that comes from letting that body control go.
 
You get the idea.
 
According to Buddhism,
The main cause of our suffering is attachment,
To things we want,
And to things we want to avoid.
 
But it’s the actions that matter,
Not the outcomes. 
 
Wishing your life would be different doesn’t help anything,
But focusing on your life right now,
What you can do to get there,
Helps everything.
 
It’s less,
“Why is this happening to me?”
“Why am I like this?”
“What do they think of me?”
 
And more,
“What’s happening right now?”
“What am I doing to live in my values and goals right now?”
 
Don’t you think that’s a much lighter way to live?
 
I do,
And that’s why I have every intention of practicing non attachment as I return home,
As I continue the practices that move me towards my goals and are aligned with my values,
And let go of the overthinking that comes with the questioning,
“But what if that doesn’t happen?”
 
Where can you practice non-attachment in your life?
What outcomes have you fixated on?
That you overthink,
That remove you from the present?

And where you can you focus that effort on the present?