The weekly perspective

One question to ask yourself

"Am I seeing this for what it is, or for what I want it to be?"

I ask myself this question most days, most definitely on days where I feel challenged by someone. You know the triggered feeling, the underlying sense of discomfort, that you can't quite put your finger on? It's easy to look at a situation and take offence, to create stories in your head about what you think is the truth. But remember, there are as many truths to a situation as there are people, all of which are created through the lens of our experience. That post you took offence to, the message they didn't reply to, the thing she said you didn't agree with. Are you seeing it objectively or are you creating your own truth?

Journal on this - what experiences have you had that might be contributing to what you're feel to be true right now? If you were to remove the lens of your experience, how would you approach this situation?

One thing I'd tell my younger self

It's ok to want (and to let) someone to look after you sometimes.

This is a conversation I've had with a couple of different clients recently. The "everything's great and I'm so grateful that I've got so much to do... But sometimes I wish someone would just do it all for me for once, I'm tired." The shame is omnipresent as they say it out loud. Even though we all feel it, we're embarrassed as we acknowledge it's often a first world problem to have. But it’s ok to want someone to look after you sometimes, to take all the load and to tell you that you don’t have to think or for do for a while. Sometimes, just keeping ourselves alive can feel completely exhausting, let alone other people, careers or households. Sometimes, it does just feel too much. But when we ask for help we're gaining connection. We're not failing at being an admirable independent woman (despite what the 90s playlist on repeat in our heads would suggest).

Something to consider

"You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."  

Elizabeth Gilbert said this in one of my all time favourite books (ok, I admit I watched the movie first) - Eat Pray Love. It doesn't require much discussion, does it?

Journal on this - Where are you overthinking and hoping and wishing, where you should actually be taking action? Where are you holding your tongue where you should actually be using your voice? 

One thing to try this week

Shake it off, shake it off.

I'd like to first apologise for putting Taylor into your head so early on a Monday. But I mention her in the name of science. Before getting picked up for the airport last week, I could feel my anxiety bubbling. My heart rate was fast, my eyes watery, my skin was tingling and I had to test that I'd put deodorant on (I had, I was just a sweat fest so that was a real treat). So I shook my belly like a bowl full of jelly (well, wriggled my body like a convulsing dying worm if I'm being accurate). Some theories suggest that emotions are generated by conveying the current state of the body to the brain through interoceptive input, so if your body state is stressed, your emotional responses align with that. We're better able to evoke and regulate our emotions. Thus, getting on some Taylor and shaking it off might actually help you regulate your emotions in that moment. Try it out when you're feeling nervy this week.