The weekly perspective

One question to ask yourself

"Am I creating these habits for what I want or for what I feel like I should have?"

Focusing on what's meaningful to you, instead of what's meaningful to other people is how you tap into the energy that will support a wholehearted life. Why do you want to build that morning routine? Because an influencer showed you an aesthetic green juice in her pants? Because the person with abs said she has one? Or because it genuinely adds to your life?

Journal on this. Write down the list of things habits you're still building - how do they make you feel? Smug and superior yet exhausted? Or full, optimistic, energetic and whole?

One thing I'd tell my younger self

You can have it all, just not at once.

Trying to do it all - the career, the saving, the living, the relationship, the health, the friendships, the travel, it's exhausting. The first world problem is real, and I've come to hate the narrative that 'we can do it all' under the guise of being an independent woman. I don't think it's empowering, I think it leads to burnout, frustration and feeling less than when everything doesn't miraculously progress into everything we've ever wanted, all at once. I wish I'd told myself to nurture the most important things at that time, and allow space for others to maintain or even slip down the ladders of importance. Their time will come, provided you make time for them, and you must make time for them. Adopting this narrative now helps me make space for what's most important, and removes the guilt and shame that all areas of my life aren't exponentially improving. I do question the reality of people that tell you otherwise.

Something to consider

Something that impacts your authenticity impacts your connection, and something that impacts your connection moves you away from a healthful life. 

Disordered eating create a horrible loop of disconnection. We attach so much shame to it, we can't be ourselves around others, we hide it, and by nature then can't be ourselves around others. This disconnection leaves us feeling empty, and more likely to fill that void with food. Replace 'disordered eating' with any habit you use to self-regulate - drinking excessively, sex, dishonesty, that massive wall of independence.

Journal on this - into what areas of my life can I bring more honesty?

One thing to try this week

Practice receiving. Love, kindness, help, oral...

I watched a programme the other week where the main female character hadn't ever orgasmed because the idea of a man (in this scenario) giving her anything made her so uncomfortable. I feels awkward to be shown care when you don't feel you're worthy of it, but that becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Loads of you would rather suffer independently than allow people to help you, the idea of receiving a compliment makes you squirm, and you'd never just text someone out of the blue asking for support. But allowing people to do these things builds a belief that a) this is what healthy connection and love looks like and b) you're worthy of that healthful love. It also stops you building a connection destroying wall of resentment...

Your task is to ask or allow one random act of kindness, support or selfless deed towards you this week.