What Toxic Trait Have You Normalised?

What the hell was I thinking
Calling that sustainable?
 
I guess it was for me
At that time in my life
With zero dependents
A steady income
Access to education
A job that involved nutrition and training
A partner in the same industry 
 
Training 6-7 days a week
Eating every 3 hours
Sleeping 8 hours
Managing my stress
Getting 4+ servings of complete protein / day without fail
Walking 10k steps per day
Weight cycling through the year
 
Anyone could do it if they prioritised it
Couldn’t they?
 
This photo came up on my Instagram memories yesterday 
I shared it 7 years ago 
 I couldn’t help but laugh
Being so far removed from the ‘sustainable’ image at this point in my life
 
I’ve regressed on paper
Lots tons of that muscle
Have many days I don’t hit 10k steps
Rarely manage 4 hours of sleep
Do my best to get enough protein but now being veggie and dairy free find myself eating a lot of protein bars and still missing my target some days 
I’m less fit
I’m less lean
I’m weaker
 
At the time I thought I was helping people
Maybe I was
Telling them that stage lean wasn’t the goal
That it wasn’t forever
To stop pursuing super lean and instead pursue super healthy
As if needing to hit those outputs was healthy
 
To be fair
Someone from the gym I trained at back then messaged me yesterday and was lovely and highlighted that even if I lacked awareness of lives outside of my own lived experience
I wasn’t a monster
 
Point being
I had become so indoctrinated into fitness and wellness back then that I genuinely believed my way of life could be anyone’s ‘norm’ if they wanted it to be
I had normalised my way of living so much that I also believed training 6 days a week was normal
 
Here’s some other things I normalised at that time

• Not eating butter

• Only eating 0% yoghurt 

• Bringing meals to social occasions regularly 

• Taking selfies every time I went to the gym

• Avoiding festive drinks at Starbucks (despite always wanting festive drinks)

• Banking calories ahead of social occasions 

 
A lot of people who work with us at ETPHD have worked with other coaches first
They say things like 
I just couldn’t stick to it
I regained the weight every time I lost it
I didn’t have enough self control
They get good results I just couldn’t do it
 
And this pisses me off
Not the people coming to us
But the reality that these coaches shouldn’t be supporting people with real lives
With disordered eating
People  who don’t eat, breathe and sleep fitness and wellness
Who want their health and bodies to support their lives
Not take over their lives
 
There is still an expectation in fitness that people weigh their food and don’t eat butter
 
This is not ‘normal’ real life for most people who have other facets to their personality and purpose and relationships 
 
I posed the question on Instagram yesterday 
What have you normalised?
Here’s what came up…
 

• Cheat days

• Tracking macros for months on end

• Pretending to like black coffee (I know I know some people do)

• Limiting social events to 1x max

• Egg white everything

• Sugar free syrups 

• A constantly rumbling stomach 

• Aiming for a calorie deficit every single day

• Not eating all day to feel ‘better’ in an outfit at night

• Replacing pasta / rice with cauliflower / broccoli ‘rice’

• Following a meal plan long term

• Training twice per day

• Skipping breakfast

• Eating chicken and rice 2x a day

• Red top milk

• Fry light instead of butter

• Doing an hour of elliptical before an hour long class

• Eating ‘off plan’ even though not dieting 

• 1400 calories every day

• Sharing my naked ass every Wednesday

• Using water instead of oil

• Drinking coffee to ‘push eating until later’

• Endless cardio

• Weighing lettuce (and removing the extra)

• Clean eating recipes

• Courgette in porridge for bulking it up

• Weighing tomatoes

• Never eating bread

• Month long carb free diets before social events

 
These are just a few of them
This is what our industry has normalised and I’m sorry for any part I had to play in it
 
I know better so now I do better
Just like Maya Angelou reminds us 
 
I urge you this weekend to question your ‘normal’
Maybe this is impacted by the company you keep
The values you’ve taken on from your family
The industry you work in
Or the sport you play
 
How does this ‘normal’ help justify your behaviours and choices?
What would it look like to be more ‘average’?
What do you feel about being more ‘average’?
What does that mean to you?
And I wonder,
If that is what stops you from finding peace and true ‘normality’ with food…?
Use these as journal prompts
 
I’m always here
Em