The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
What pain am I willing to sustain?
A lot of our discontentment comes from the ludicrous idea that we're supposed to be happy all of the time, that eventually, things will all be easy. Nice idea hun. Everything requires some sacrifice. The pain of heartbreak. The embarrassment of failing publicly. A lack of sleep to put in the hours needed to grow a business. A lack of career progression to focus on other parts of life. None of these are essential necessarily, but check in - are you living in a bubble of denial of discomfort? Learn to accept sacrifice is necessary for what you say you want. Or accept you probably won't get there...
Journal on this - what discomfort am I willing to face? What sacrifice am I willing to make?
One thing I'd tell my younger self
Relax. It always gets done in the end.
I realised last week that I set myself up to fail with this email. Promising you a Monday email meant I found myself working on a Sunday (which I will often happily do) to arrive in your inbox at 630am because that's what I'd always done. As events occur and I work more on weekends, I realised I'd fallen back into taking no days off and that type of hustle culture life I do not enjoy or subscribe to these days. The younger perfectionist in me would have ignored that and because I'd committed to it, I'd suck up the lack of boundaries. But it makes no difference to you reading this at 8am instead, does it? We spend so much time stressing about what we need to get done and forget that ultimately, it always does get done in the end. And if it doesn't? It is really the end of the world?
Look at the way you've 'always done things' - is there one thing that's not serving you anymore that needs to change?
Something to consider
Your expectations are your source of disappointment.
Imagine you meet someone on Hinge. You've had a few FaceTime dates but not met in person yet. You're talking all the time. You leave your first date disheartened - they weren't what you thought. Because they didn't meet the stories in your head of who they were. What if you didn't create those stories in the first place?
Your disappointment comes when people don't meet the story you told yourself about them. If you let people be, to show up as they are, stripped them of what you felt they should be doing, stopped trying to mould them into what you think they should be, what would that look like? Then they wouldn't do anything / be what I need / accomplish their potential? I'd ask you, is that your place to make happen, or are you simply trying to make a person someone you want, instead of someone they are?
One thing to try this week
Speak like man (with a podcast).
I know, sounds vile, but hear me out. I was at an incredible IWD event at the weekend, surrounding by speakers that were beyond incredible, huge business owners, a multiple best selling author (and magical human), female gym owners creating safe spaces for women, those using their voices to encourage more women into the gym and we found ourselves saying, what if we introduced ourselves like a man would, how would that sound? I could say, I've only been in the industry 6 years (so not long) and I got in at the right time when no one was talking about relationships with food. Or, I could say, I've only been in the industry 6 years and have already built a team of the best coaches in the industry for supporting dysfunctional eating because I changed the way UK fitness thought about food. Both are true, which keeps me smaller? Which we're told makes us more likeable. Which shows I know my worth? Catch yourself this week - where do you keep yourself small in the language you use?
