Don’t believe you can do it?

The disbelief I still feel,
As I leave a few slices of my Domino’s pizza in the box,
Eat 3 out of the 4 cookies,
And wake up to leftovers,
It’s still unfathomable to me.
 
Despite stopping binge eating many years ago,
I still don’t quite believe I can eat a pizza mindfully,
Something that used to be a trigger food for me,
Something I couldn’t stop eating until I’d had the whole thing,
Then all the cookies,
Then some ice cream because ‘fuck it’.
 
The novelty of waking up to leftover pizza,
Which by the way fuels an excellent leg session,
Gosh hi fitness cliché who are you,
It never gets old.
 
We were asked by a coach on EIQ this week,
How can I support a client who has no self-belief?
She doesn’t feel she’ll ever reach her fat loss goals,
There’s too many factors stopping her,
So she won’t even try. 
 
And I wondered,
Is that you?
Do you have a goal so big that you can’t imagine ever reaching it?
Or a goal even moderately sized,
We don't do size shaming here all sizes are great sizes,
That you struggle to imagine achieving?
 
If so,
You’ve got to change the way you’re thinking. 
 
If you struggle to believe you can stop binge eating,
Lose body fat,
Find balance in what feels like a chaotic life,
Fall in love and create a secure relationship,
You have to stop focusing on the end goal.
 
People will often say to you,
Imagine what it will feel like to get there,
And often in motivational interviewing,
We encourage you to visualise and feel into your body,
Ask you,
What does that success looks like?
 
But often what we truly want is so far removed from the beliefs we hold about ourselves,
It can feel incongruent, 
It can feel so detached from our capabilities that it leaves us feeling like,
Why even try?
 
So we don’t.
 
Instead,
Let me share with you a much better way of doing things.

Take a step back,
And focus on the behaviours and habits you need to get there,
Look at you thinking 'but it's boring',
I see you.
 
Let’s take me for example.
I might not believe that I can ever manage a press handstand,
Trust me I’ve tried and not only did I almost put a hole in the wall I also nearly broke both my wrists and my ankle,
But I do believe I can handstand practice for 10 minutes 3 times a week should I want to get there,
Not sure I’m up for that level of commitment yet,
And herein lies my problem.
 
You might not believe you can ever stop emotional eating,
But do you believe that for this next week only,
You can eat regularly,
Journal once,
And eat mindfully for one meal per day?
 
You might not believe you will ever fall in healthy love,
But do you believe that for this next week only,
You’ll spend 10 minutes on Hinge each night,
Stop swiping right on gym selfies,
And work in a coffee shop instead of at home at least once?
 
It’s very difficult to achieve your goals if you don’t believe you deserve them,
It’s just as difficult to achieve your goals if you don’t believe you can reach them.
 
So I ask you to gently reframe your beliefs,
And rather than asking,
Do I believe I can *stop emotional eating*?
*Insert something you want to change here,
Instead ask yourself,
Can I change just 3 small habits this week?
What small habits will they be?
 
Take 10 minutes to journal on those goals you have for yourself,
Strip them back to habits required to get there,
And take it a week at a time.

And when you're ready for accountability,
A coach in your corner to ensure you get there,
The team at ETPHD are here.