The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
If this is a choice I'm making, why am I choosing this?
Intention is everything. Often we fall into decisions without questioning why - maybe it's expectation; what we've done before; a subconscious decision. Whether it's food, a message you're sending, a person you're spending time with - why are you choosing it? You're not powerless to your actions.
One thing I'd tell my younger self
People are attracted to your joy and your mess, more than they're attracted to your discipline
It's not really the message they tell you at school, is it? So we spend our adult lives striving for an unattainable perfection, a tightly controlled body and diet, thinking that in some way it'll make us worthy of the attention and love of others. I wish I knew that everyone who would love me would do so for my optimism, my joy, the messy life I share and sure, my ambition and passion, but too, the mess that comes with that. I wish I knew too, that those things were muted when I was trying to control myself, stifle my changing opinions and body, to fit in.
Journal on this - what parts of your life are you trying to control? Are you focusing on the process or the outcome? Are they healthful things to be controlling?
Something to consider
Real self care comes from your decision making. Bring your internal values to every decision you make, not a bubble bath.
Often after big events like Level up this weekend, I usually experience social exhaustion and hide away for 12-24 hours in silence, but this weekend I found myself seeing friends, dating, sharing my pizza and I woke up pretty rejuvenated. One of my top values is connection, to myself, to others, to my purpose, and I needed nourishing self-care after this past week. That didn't look like locking myself away in the bath with a (albeit amazing) hyaluronic acid face mask, but instead seeing people who create feelings of safety. Self-care isn't what instagram tells you - it's your decisions, acting in line with your values, being congruent.
One thing to try this week
Tap into your body.
Embodiment was a huge component of my talk on body image this weekend. The lived in experience of our bodies, the mind-body connection we have (or don't). It's ruptured by pain, dieting, over-exercising, over-working, chronic stress. We move out of our bodies and into our heads. Except embodiment (alongside self compassion), is a key predictor of positive body image. I asked you on instagram to 'tap into your body' and the majority of people said they didnt know what that meant. You can do this with yoga sure, but you can also do it with 60seconds sat at home.
Close your eyes
Take 3 deep breaths through your nose and into a soft belly
Run through your body from your feet to your head noticing the sensations that are there - tingling, heat, coolness, pain, what do you notice?
Open your eyes and carry on with your day
Try it, once a day this week.
