We choose being liked rather than real & then wonder why we’re eating our feelings.

Instagram violated me,
And not in a hot roleplay consensual way,
In a ‘left me feeling impotent and frustrated’
Kinda way.

I was shadowbanned for hate speech,
Hate against men no less,
By making a post that ironically was pro men,
Pro-removing the ‘men are trash’ narrative.

I wrote how I hated the sentiment,
That although it was born to provide solidarity in the fight against men’s violence against women,
I thought it derailed important conversations,
And I even sort of maybe in a way mentioned,
Not all men…

But alas,
My voice was ripped from me like I’d had a run-in with Ursula,
I may have my legs,
But my dulcet tones were officially silenced.
For a few hours at least,
I felt violated.

The audacity.

Earlier this week I was laughing with one of my clients,
Let’s call her Karen.
Someone stole Karen’s towel at the swimming pool and proceeded to dab off her bits,
In front of Karen’s very eyes.

Karen was within conversation distance from the culprit,
Equally as flabbergasted by the audacity,
And yet didn’t say a word,
Because as I said to her,
We’d rather risk the lurgy from rubbing a lost property towel down our butt crack than go openly into confrontation.

I laughed along as she replayed the memory,
Because to be frank I’d probably have done the same,
And it begs the question,
Why are we like this?

Why are we so intent on keeping the peace,
On being a nice girl,
On keeping our true feelings in,
On getting crabs rather than getting confrontational?

If my Instagram whipping has reminded me of anything,
It’s that being unable to use my words like the adult I am,
Powerless to communicate in the way that I want,
Drives me round the twist
(Have you ever, ever felt like this…?).

If Karen has reminded me of anything,
It’s that silencing ourselves simply to people please leads to resentment,
The possibility of a verruca,
And another drive around the twist.

Why do powerlessness and resentment even matter?
Aside from the fact that they don’t feel too pleasant?

Well let’s walk it through,
How do you act when you feel powerless and resentful?

You feel bitter, frustrated, irritable,
You overthink the story and think ‘if only I did that differently’,
And what do we do to regulate these uncomfortable emotions?
We eat, we drink, we over-exercise…

Prince Eric knew the power of Ariel’s voice,
And we can’t let men know more than us,
Not because they’re trash,
But because we’re just a little bit smarter…

The more we know about ourselves,
The more empowered we feel to communicate our needs,
The healthier our relationships,
With others and ourselves,
And the less likely we rely on disordered habits to distract ourselves from them.

Use your voice,
Communicate,
Vocalise your boundaries and your needs,
Stop being the nice girl,
Get your towel back.

You can’t expect others to read your mind,
To be heard without speaking,
And life is about more than being liked,
It’s about being real.

And if you’re in doubt just remember,
That life is much better,
Down where it’s wetter,
Take it from me.