We care more about how we look than how we show up. And that’s concerning.

We did it,
With a 2-month turnaround,
My business partner and I managed a pretty great event last weekend,
And although I was there as a speaker,
I learned something cool,
Let me share that with you.

This idea was shared by one of the speakers,
Specifically, they were talking about business,
But I think we need to think of ourselves,
To really consider,
What do I want to be known for?

In a business sense it’s clear,
You can be known as a coach who cares about their clients,
Who gives out tons of free support,
And is generally a decent human,
Or you can be known as a charlatan,
A negative Nancy,
Or Norman.

But in the personal sense?
This is where we can step in and say,
What do I want others to feel when they’re around me?
And how am I showing up?

I don’t think we ask ourselves this enough,
Before social events,
Before seeing others,
We’re concerned about what we look like,
What we’ll eat,
What they’ll think of us,
That we bypass what’s far more important.

How am I showing up?
What do I want them to feel?
How am I going to connect with this person?
What memories do I want to make for myself?

It’s one of the key outcomes of our work with clients,
Being chill about going out for dinner,
Because sure,
They care about their physical health,
But me?
I care about their psychological health,
And that psychological health?
It has a direct impact on their physical.

It’s hard to stop overthinking,
Hard to change the thought processes that we’ve always had,
But one of the keys to behaviour change is this,
Replace don’t remove.

Try it.

When a thought pops up and you stress about the missed gym this weekend,
The home cooked meal,
What others think of your different body,
Replace it with a simple question,
What do I want to be known for?

This weekend,
Before going into any interaction or event,
Before freaking out about the easter food,
The family pressure,
Take a breather and ask yourself.

How do I want others to feel?
How do I want to remember this day?
How do I want to show up,
For others and for myself?

It’s not about overthinking others’ perceptions,
We know that’s none of our business,
But it is about going to bed at night in knowing,
Knowing that we were our best selves,
Our kindest selves,
Our most boundaried and healthiest selves,
That we showed up as our true selves,
And didn’t let food, body or self-doubt
Ruin that.