The weekly perspective

One question to ask yourself

How much peace do I lose to worrying about things that never happen?

Journal on this - what are all the things you're overthinking right now? Worrying about? How many of them are in the future, not even happened yet? What would it look like to accept that these things may happen regardless of how much you overthink them? What purpose is that overthinking serving for you? Often, we do it because it feels like we've more control over something we think about all the time. But is that a reality...? Or a story we tell ourselves?

Something to consider

It's not always about what happens to us and what other people do to us. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, what part did I play?

Sorry I know it's Monday and you're not here for the attack (it hurt myself writing it if it helps). One thing we're taught in counselling training is that we can only support the person in front of us to change - how others behave is not for us (or our clients) to control.  This doesn't mean everything is your fault or under your control (certainly not), but it can be a pretty freeing and empowering realisation to own that we can change our behaviours, boundaries and reactions, instead of wasting time believing we can change anyone else.

One thing I'd tell my younger self.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice


I often debate this Buddhist concept - isn't it toxic positivity to only feel pain in the moment? To deny any suffering around something so painful? Maybe. But there's something truly peaceful abbot recognising the difference between pain and suffering, what you can and cannot control. 

You can't stop your partner cheating on you. You can work to stop yourself from worrying about it happening, work on trusting yourself that you'll be ok even if they do. 

Hard things are going to happen. The pain of them is undeniable. How much more do you give it?

One thing to try this week

Stop thinking about the future 

Ridiculous in January I'm sure. In fact, ridiculous coming from me, the one who preaches fierce self-compassion, thinking about your future self, asking what your tomorrow self will thank you for. This all still stands true. But something I've been working on with one of my clients recently is managing feelings of anxiety through thought work. Notably, when she finds herself worrying about what she'll say in that future conversation, what she'll do if that happens, guessing what'll happen in that next work meeting, she calls herself on it. She brings herself back to the present. Names it as worrying (about things that might not happen). Notice it. Call it out. Come back to the present moment. 

A few things to tell you...

We listen & we don't judge - an excellent ETPHD pod with Lynn & Anna this week where they talk fullness vs. satisfaction, binging on foods you don't like and the definition of 'healed'.

I'm looking for 3-5 people who want to heal their relationship with food & overcome hormonal challenges (support their fertility or preggo journey, restore their period, work through PCOS challenges etc).

In February, I'm excited to say I'm actively taking on 3-5 coaching clients for the first time in over a year MYSELF. I've had 3 applications so far when I mentioned it slyly on socials, but I'm giving you first access to actual spaces since you're on my mailing list. I'll be sending out a waitlist application later this week, so keep your eyes peeled - spaces will be first come first served. 

GLP-1 patches & low calorie diets - the last EIQ nutrition pod without me (that's right I will be back this week I am buzzing) is a doozy as ever with Em - listen here 

One more thing...

Please share your favourite stuff.

Thank you all for continuing to share your favourite Monday email quotes. I see them all. I know how much I love seeing impactful quotes from strangers, so it means a lot that you allow me to hopefully be that person for someone else. If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.