The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
What would it look like to have enough?
Journal on this - do you have what you need? What will it take for you to feel content in what you do have? What are your fears around accepting enoughness? (often we fear contentment will make us 'stagnant' & what's worse that a person who isn't striving for achievement every single second of every single day? What are your markers and goal posts of success? How have they changed over recent years? Do you imagine ever reaching those markers?
Something to consider
"We were sold this feminist dram that you can have it all. But you can't. You can have a bit of everything. But you can't have it all" - Paloma Faith
Many of you will find this disempowering and that's ok. But I'm here for those of you trying to give 100% to every aspect of your life then wondering why you're exhausted or feeling like you're always failing or not good enough at something. You have a pie chart of energy and effort of 100% - it has to split somehow and you don't need to be a math genius to recognise that you can't give 100% to 8 different things at once - 800% is an impossibility.
I'm low key in love with Paloma Faith at the moment as I watch her vocalise her anger and experiences as a successful bread-winning woman and mother and in the past, wife.
Journal on this - where are your expectations setting you up for failure? What would it look like to accept you can't have it all, all of the time? How would that feel?
One thing I'd tell my younger self.
"Just because you trust that someone is trying their best, that doesn't mean that their best is good enough for you or meets your needs the way you need" - Hailey Magee
This is something I have to repeat to myself a lot, it goes against a lot of engrained beliefs and values I've taken on over my life so far. It's why I've often allowed mediocre behaviour at best, really pretty woeful behaviour at worst.
Journal on this - where are you allowing your compassion and empathy to blur your boundaries?
One thing to try this week
Beauty hunt with a beginners mind
Slow down & use these 2 tools that we implement at ETPHD coaching to support a more positive body image as well as a more optimistic and mindful headspace. When you take your daily walk, walk as though you've never seen these sights, nor smelt those flowers, or seen human connection. Buddhists encourage cultivating a beginners mind to support an attitude of openness and curiosity. And if you've read these emails for more than a few weeks, you know I believe curiosity is antidote to self-criticism. Stop and small the roses, literally.
A few things to tell you...
At what point does self-development become self-obsession & why am I handing out unscientific advice? Find out here
Are meal replacement drinks actually quite food for you? Why do Em and I take different approaches to fat loss? Listen here
Do you have the right mindset to run a successful business? Find out
One more thing...
Please share your favourite stuff.
Thank you all for continuing to share your favourite Monday email quotes. I see them all. I know how much I love seeing impactful quotes from strangers, so it means a lot that you allow me to hopefully be that person for someone else. f there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.
