The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
Where am I masking my loneliness with hyper-connectivity?
Doom scrolling. Proctasti-scrolling. Reality TV binging. Maybe there's a healthful space for some of these. Maybe they're manifestations of your seeking of connection, serving you a surface level half snack of social time instead of deep, authentic, offline social bonding
Journal on this - are there any other behaviours or habits you have that might mask feelings of loneliness? When do these behaviours arise for you? How are they serving you? What healthful behaviours or habits are you creating that serve to meet your totally human need for true connection and belonging?
Something to consider
"Never before have we commodified & commercialised our personal experiences to such a degree that sometimes instead of living life, we're living experiences from which the value will only come once we've posted it" - Esther Perel
I'm definitely a bit quieter on socials these days, not for value I hope to continue to provide this forever and forever, but with my own personal time. I don't want the reason I smell the flowers to be so I can take a picture and put them online to tell the world to stop and smell the flowers. I want to just be.
Journal on this - how would it feel for you to go on holiday, eat something delicious, witness a beautiful sunset, and NOT share it online? How do you feel when you watch others' weekly dumps? How do you compare, if you do?
One thing I'd tell my younger self.
"The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships... Which are basically a reflection of your sense of decency, your ability to think of others, your generosity"
We all experience moments in our life when we feel lonely, like we don't have substantial relationships, or the relationships that we want. So many times, this reality is outside of our control. How privileged we are to have someone to love us.
But I've been doing some thinking recently about the effort I put into relationships, the efforts I expect from others, and really where I need to do better.
Journal on this - where do you put time, effort and generosity (within healthy boundaries) into your relationships? Where do you give back, what you expect? Are you placing expectations on to others, that are a manifestation of your unmet needs, that lead to feelings of disappointment? Have you communicated your needs, in return for hearing others? Do you have the expectation of relationships remaining without nurture?
One thing to try this week
Make more effort in your relationships
Your most important. You're most trivial. Your most loving. Your least loving. Romantic. Familial. Friendships. Working. Make more effort to listen, to communicate, to show up with the energy you wish you bring to these dynamics. Text. Show up physically. Communicate.
A few things to tell you...
Worried about who you are without the leanest body, sporting identity or 'healthiest' personality? Maybe that's why you can't fully heal. Listen to this weeks podcast
I think my stance has changed on ultra processed foods recently and I bet it's not what you think - do you agree?
Navigating pregnancy as a single person? Or in a relationship and finding it tough on you? I spoke about my own journey with this here
One of the biggest mistakes I see in coaches marketing is contained in this podcast
One more thing...
Please share your favourite stuff.
Thank you all for continuing to share your favourite Monday email quotes. I see them all. I know how much I love seeing impactful quotes from strangers, so it means a lot that you allow me to hopefully be that person for someone else. f there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.
