The weekly perspective

One question to ask yourself

Are you looking for more instead of focusing on consistency? 

A new CPD course. A different approach to dating. A 'bettter' partner. A new business strategy. As we near the end of the year, the messaging around dieting, fulfilling your goals, cosying down with that person, it's all deafening. You're thinking, should I try something different and tick off another box before the end of the year? It's way more fun to try something new than dig deep into the consistent, sometimes mundane, work where you are right now. Chances are though, you'll achieve infinitely more of what you want by doing the latter instead of jumping ship on to the next thing. Some might say that's just another way of procrastinating... 

Journal on this - where are you getting itchy feet? Have you exhausted that route and it's time to pivot (PIVOT)? Or are you just looking for the next thing to give you the productivity hit of 'doing'?

Something to consider

"The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid doing it" - Mark Manson

I thought of Mark Manson's law of avoidance this week as a I reflected on just how much I was trusting people in the help I was allowing into my life. As a hyper-independent millennial, I've always identified as someone who could do it all themselves, without needing (only wanting), maryerting herself in the process. It's a bit ick when I consider it now, but the idea of asking for support threatened my identity, so I avoided it. I didn't let romantic partners into my anxious headspace, I trained like crap for a year despite programming for my clients better than ever (knowledge doesn't equal action who knew), even though I knew I wanted support, I procrastinated on it. 

Journal on this -  what are you procrastinating on? How does taking that action align with the identity you've created for yourself / others have created for you? How could that be stopping you from taking action?

One thing I'd tell my younger self.

Romanticise your future instead of your past . 

You compare yourself to past you, your body, your relationships, a time when you were 'happier'. You remember the highlights, we have a positivity bias when we look to our past selves. People tend to remember more pleasant than unpleasant events. Because of this, we romanticise our pasts and often find ourselves chasing 'that'. But this only serves to create unhappiness for where we are now, frustration and a fear around our presence and future. 

Journal on this - what do you romanticise about your past? Was it really that magical? Where do you find yourself getting stuck in your present / future seeking as a result of constantly looking back?

One thing to try this week

Remain soft (*with one key exception*)

Since I got my new car, I've noticed a huge increase in the amount of aggression I receive from not all men on the roads. It's pretty uncomfortable for me, male aggression is a big trigger for my anxiety. As it happened again over the weekend, I found myself immediately going into my down regulating breathing, calling my boyfriend and crying. What I didn't do, is dwell on it, get angry back, allow myself to harden or let it infiltrate my day.

In a world that often feels seeped in hardness, allow yourself to be moved, to move through the world with wonder. Because the ultimate humanness is being able to step back out of our own heads, to act rationally, compassionately and in my world at least, with the softness of an open heart. 

A few things to tell you...

Wonder why Em and I disagree sometimes? Find out in the latest EIQ podcast. 

Struggle to honour your hunger and fullness? Here's a step-by-step way to learn.

Can you use disordered eating to your advantage? Have you ever been told you're too much? Then you need to listen to this. 

Something I've been obsessed with recently is the All Yoga app - it's where all my flows come from. I use them alongside a certain silly goose's spotify playlist and it's my ultimate downregulation tool (ideal for aggressive man induced anxiety). 

The binge breakthrough programme is 1 week in and to hear people have had their first week without binge eating already is incredible - we've been hearing a lot of this: "although it felt weird 'wasting' calories early in the day when I wasn't hungry, I didn't binge the entire day and stopped snacking too". Reminder, eat regularly. 

Last week was filled with emotion in our live call as we started to get curious about the role of binge and overeating in our lives. It's not always easy to recognise the benefits of overeating and it can take a bit of time to open yourself up to being curious instead of angry and frustrated, but that's the first step in letting it go as a coping mechanism. 

Get on the waitlist for the next intake here. 

One more thing...

Please share your favourite stuff.

I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.