One question to ask yourself

Is this the right thing? Or is this the thing that feels comfortable because it's familiar?

There is comfort in familiarity, even if what is familiar is painful. Ailey Jolie reminded us of this earlier this week (if you haven't listened to my podcast with this angel, listen here). But we actually get a soothing of our nervous system in response to making choices that feel familiar, because in the short-term, they can feel safe. This is a concept I've used personally a lot in my relationships in the past few years - I noticed I was drawn to behaviours and people who offer familiarity, but through checking in with this question, have avoided relationships that would have repeated old unhelpful cycles. It's also allowed me to be courageous enough to walk into unfamiliar territory, which at times has challenged me for sure, but being able to recognise that as unfamiliarity, not incorrectness, has allowed me to make healthier choices.

Journal on this - what shows up in your life repeatedly, that no longer serves you? How do you make choices that contribute to this, and I wonder, is this because they feel familiar? How can you learn to distinguish between familiarity and the right choice for you?

Something to consider

"I see my body as an instrument, not an ornament” - Alan's Morissette


What if you started each day with this intention this week? When you have those body image voices in your head, can you remind yourself of this? Of its inmate ability to allow the life that you're living?

One thing I'd tell my younger self.

Worrying will not do anything except make us feel worse than we already do.

Two reasons you won't let it go. The first? You think it serves a purpose. Manages your expectations so when things go wrong, you've 'prepared' yourself by worrying about it, you knew it would happen. The second? You think you have a choice. There are no headphones for the voices inside our head, but there is our ability to practice presence, come back to the moment we have - all we have is now, and we cause a lot of suffering by wasting it worrying about that thing.

One thing to try this week

Tell no lies. None. Not even a white lie. 

Most of you won't do this, you'll read over it and shrug - I don't really lie, this won't impact me. Those who do have the curiosity to try, you'll find it harder than you think. I know this because I did it for a week when I was doing my meditation teacher training. It's part of cultivating the Buddhist 8-fold path, the path towards removing suffering, and isn't that what we all want? To end the suffering of ourselves and others? Try not to lie this week, at all, not even the tiniest of white lies. I'd love to know how you get on.

A few things to tell you...

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One more thing...

Please share your favourite stuff.

I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.