My Turn Ons Taught Me This Life Changing Lesson

“I’ve never been so turned on”,
I said to him,
As we were driving through the green-grassed roads of Kentucky,
And he listed the titles of the multiple Taylor Swift songs that had been played on the radio since we’d been in town,
My belly full of freshly baked pancakes,
And the temperature finally at a steady ‘hot but not sweating down my ass crack’ level.
 
There’s a reason I was somewhat enchanted in that moment,
Ready for it in fact,
You see,
Our sex drive is a dual control system,
We have an accelerator, and we have a break,
Don’t worry I’m not getting all car-mechanical this is truly the extent of my knowledge on that. 
 
The accelerator responds to stimuli like touch,
Sight,
Smell,
Sounds,
And these turn you on.
 
Example,
Your partner’s naked in the kitchen with freshly baked doughnuts playing ‘all too well’,
You’re accelerating faster than Lewis Hamilton on 1g of caffeine,
And end up wetter than the raspberry filling of that doughnut.
 
The break on the other hand,
It responds to reasons not to be turned on,
Like if you’re struggling with your body image,
You’re hungry,
Or your partner is moshing out to happy hardcore instead.
 
I’d been reading about this concept some more recently, 
And it got me thinking about other parts of our life,
Where we focus so much on the doing,
The accelerators,
But we ignore the breaks.
 
Example,
You’re working on your career,
Finding your purpose,
Doing more courses,
Educating yourself,
Showing up to market yourself on social media,
And wondering why you’re not where you want to be.
 
But you’re ignoring the fact that your relationship is a source of daily anxiety,
You get 5 hours sleep a night because you’re doing too much,
And literally don’t have a second for creativity,
Because you’re always scrolling or consuming information.
 
When you consider your accelerators and your breaks,
You’re out of balance, 
And sometimes,
You might even be in a net negative. 
 
Your relationship with your body is the same.
You can diet (for that questionable impact on your body image),
Wear comfortable clothes,
Start doing regular yoga.
 
But if you’re still body checking,
Engaging in negative self-talk,
Talking about diets and bodies with your friends,
Scrolling thin white influencer accounts that prioritise dieting and leanness above all else,
You will find yourself feeling the same way about your body as you always did.
 
You can implement all the accelerators available to you,
But if you don’t pay attention to the breaks,
Your progress is going to be slow,
If not stagnant.
 
This weekend,
I’m setting you a task.
 
Pick one area of your life you’re trying to improve,
That feels stuck,
Then make 2 lists.
 
What are my accelerators?
And what are my breaks?
 
From that list consider,
What will I change?
 
Let me know if I can help with those changes,
Because if it’s your health,
It’s my priority. 
 
Have a great weekend,
I’m always here,
Em x