Stress

It felt like a dagger to the heart, 
Didn’t it?
When you definitely noticed my lack of email last Friday,
Given it’s reliability of coming is greater than yours,
It’s been here every Friday for 6 years,
Sans holidays of course because I am a boundaried queen,
So I know,
You were completely thrown off and disorientated without your weekend guidance from me.
 
Truth is,
I wasn’t too busy,
Taking an intentional break from work,
It wasn’t a marketing ploy of the old avoidant attachment trap,
Treating you mean,
Being inconsistent in my communication,
So you’re super keen as you read todays email,
Having spent the past week wondering what I was doing and who I was with,
It was simply this,
I forgot.
 
After 6 years of doing the same thing every single week,
I woke up on Friday morning,
6 hours behind the UK,
And realised something was different.
 
No one had tagged me in the email bits they loved,
Which I always appreciate by the way,
I thought,
God maybe yesterday’s email didn’t resonate,
Then I had the life altering realisation,
I hadn’t even sent it.
 
I've had some things going on,
And when this happens for me,
My clients, team and EIQ come first,
And other stuff takes a back seat,
The day my life impacts my clients and our team is the day I die,
And stop being dramatic AF.

I could have put together a quickie,
One that got me off as I ticked my box of perfectionism for another week,
But left you kind of excited but unfulfilled,
Except I know many of you get enough of that in your life as it is,
If you’re a heterosexual vulva owner that is. 
 
So here we are,
As I hang my head in shame and beg for your forgiveness,
Back in your inbox on a Friday,
Digging deep to find the lesson from my errors,
Because everything happens for a reason am I right? 
 
Now where do I want to go with this?
I could harp on about perfectionism for a bit,
That it’s the enemy of done,
That although you think it’s safety for you,
It’s a shield,
An armour protecting you from courage and growth and connection.
 
But I’ve done that before,
You know the score,
Perfectionism is not something to strive for or glamourise,
But rather,
To actively work free from,
By celebrating failure and taking daily imperfect actions. 
 
I want instead to brief you on the impact of stress on cognitive function,
Remind you that those minor and major stressors culminate in what we call our allostatic load,
That a building allostatic load leads to dysregulation,
And extreme dysregulation is linked to extreme behaviour,
Things like medicating, disordered eating, isolation, extreme procrastination and adrenaline seeking. 
 
That habitual over extension of our mind-body system,
As happens when we experienced prolonged stress without adequate recovery,
Stress which includes physical, psychological, psychosocial and psychospiritual forms,
Which is born from things like work, relationships, oppression, illness and injury, negative self-talk, perfectionism, chronic dieting, binge eating, overtraining,
To name but a few,
Leads to dysregulation.
 
That if you’re not managing your stress (where accessible and able),
Not recovering and taking intentional rest (again, where accessible and able),
You will build allostatic load,
You will experience dysregulation,
You will experience behaviours you don’t want.
 
Stress is not a measure of your worth,
Productivity,
Or your accomplishments.
 
Nor is it a sign of your success,
Importance,
Or grandeur. 
 
Much like perfectionism,
Stress is not admirable nor beneficial.
 
If you find yourself with unhelpful habits right now,
Make a list,
Of all the potential stressors in your life,
In all categories,
And that includes the way you speak to yourself,
And check in,
What can you change?
 
No nutrition or training plan is going to support you until you get curious about all of the ways that stress shows up for you,
And act on those areas on which you have control,
And let go of those where you don’t.
 
As always,
I’m here.
 
Em x