As if this happened in the 90s

“Is your weight back to normal?
Can I check, do you mind?”
He said,
Presenting her with a set of scales.
 
Victoria had recently given birth to her first child and was being presented with a set of scales by host Chris Evans live on TV,
Before being convinced to step on them by the reminder that her band mate,
And the greatest of all the Spice Girls,
Geri,
Had recently done the same.
 
It’s horrifying looking back on this now,
And looking back we do,
As many accounts frequently share myriad horrifying accounts of diet culture,
Of which there are a disturbing number,
Let’s not get started on the portrayal of Monica Gellar in Friends because I can't bring sadness to a constant source of unrivalled joy right now.
 
I love a lot of those accounts,
Highlighting the realities of diet culture on those of us growing up in the 90s and 00s,
Awareness is key,
But I’m finding in both my practice and my DMs,
That many of us are finding a new identity,
One that’s letting us justify our own unhelpful behaviours,
That’s keeping us stuck in our poor body image and dysfunctional eating habits.
 
“I’m just a victim of diet culture”
 
There are 100s of influences on how we feel about our body,
Societal trends and conditioning,
Our parents,
That thing Brian said to us at 12 years old in the playground,
They compound to create a narrative that lives rent-free in our heads,
Next to the lyrics of Eiffel-65 and Never Ever by All Saints.
 
Recognising and naming these influences is imperative to your healing,
And often,
Finding that younger you who ingested all of these messages and soothing them,
Telling them they don’t need to change to be loved,
That they are safe to be,
Just as they are,
It’s transformative. 
 
But then,
Once this awareness and soothing has come to fruition,
And you’ve done the work,
You must let that identity go.
 
The ‘victim of diet culture’ identity is holding you back,
As often when we identify with something,
We feel safe there,
Even when it’s no longer serving us.
 
Yo-yo dieting feels safe when it’s all we’ve ever known,
It’s why it takes most of you on average 4 applications to the ETPHD method before you actually start,
The unknown feels unsafe.
 
It gives us a justification for our behaviours,
It’s not my fault it’s just how I am,
When it’s not your fault,
But it’s also not just how you are. 
 
We repeat what we know,
Hoping for a different outcome,
Because it’s safe,
Comforting,
And because it aligns with the identity we’ve created for ourselves.
 
It’s true that diet culture warped our realities and convinced us that ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’,
Kate Moss clearly hadn’t had a Pastel de Nata when she said that,
Contributed to many of our dysfunctional relationships with food and our bodies.
 
But weight stigma is toxic,
It contributes to our allostatic load,
Creates an actual physiological stress response,
And it’s only exacerbated when we lie docile in the diet culture victim outline,
Chalked on our garden paths like a crime scene from You since 1995.
 
Diet culture may be trauma in and of itself,
But it’s time to challenge these narratives and this identity,
To stop using it as rationale for our choices,
Stop letting it strip you of your freedom of choice.
 
Remove the mask of someone else’s ideas,
Step into the role as an autonomous adult,
Develop an awareness of your limiting beliefs,
The impossible standards that you hold for yourself,
Develop your strength to challenge them,
Instead letting Chris Evans and his scales win.