Are you wearing your helmet?

You’re handling one of the hardest times of your life very well
 
That’s what my best friend said to me last week as I shared the weeks goings on
Another day another dollar etc
 
What’s funny is
Not that you know the details
She’s right
The current recipe of life happenings for me at the moment is more dry ,overcooked brownie than gooey Lucy Lord blondie
 
My Buddhist readings have taught me a lot about pain vs. suffering
The inevitability of pain
The somewhat more controllable suffering
 
Without of course delving into the realm of toxic positivity
This concept I feel can change your life
 
We can’t stop hard things happening
We can be mindful of how we respond
How we react
How we behave
 
I don’t think I ever want to be completely free of suffering
Sadness is suffering
Grief is suffering
Some feelings are part of the human experience that I don’t believe we should run from if we want to live a wholehearted life
 
But I’ve been thinking a lot of resilience recently
As people have asked me
How do you handle X
How do you juggle Y
 
You seem glowing
Is it not as hard as people say it is?
 
Having a newborn isn’t actually the hardest part of my life right now
But it’s still very hard
And much like you
I have other goings on
 
We all have hard things in our life right now
And if you don’t
You will have soon
Pain is inevitable
 
Resilience is a huge determinant of whether we cope or whether we crumble
Crumbling by the way is another human experience I am fully supportive of at times
It’s a huge contributor to whether you turn to food and exercise to cope with hard times
Or whether you allow what is 
 
Resilience in fact associated with REDUCED disordered eating risk
And one of the key predictors of that resilience?
Self-compassion
 
You know that thing I always remind you to practice?
To replace criticism with curiosity and kindness?
To consider your future self?
 
Resilience too is associated with reduced shape and weight concerns
Which means lowered preoccupation with your body
Reduced worrying about it over the festive period
 
Resilience:
The process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threat or important sources of stress 
 
Where would you deem your resilience?
 
Many of us rate quite highly thanks to our colourful backgrounds
One reason I find people who’ve experienced life the most interesting I imagine
But aside from continuous chasing of red flag and childhood trauma
How can you build resilience?
 
Tools we use at ETPHD to support resilience in disordered eating recovery include:
Practicing gratitude daily
Cognitive reframing
Celebrating failure
Building coping tools away from food
Developing self compassion
Creating a strong community and connection 
Developing distress tolerance
 
How do you develop yours?
 
Because life isn’t getting easier for any of us
But can get better at living wholly through it 
 
No matter how much falls on us
We keep plowing ahead
That’s the only way to keep the roads clear
― Greg Kincaid
 
Have a great weekend
I’m always here
Em