One question to ask yourself

Why is this triggering me?

We all get triggered: by social media; a comment from someone; the way someone we love chooses to live their life. The problem isn't the post, the comment, the person. The problem is what that means to you. Being 'triggered' is an opportunity to look inwards instead of criticising outwards, to get curious and to wonder, why is this creating this response in me?

As Eckhart Tolle reminds us, "anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you."

Journal on this - what is that person doing that you want to do? Or what are they doing that you too do, that you dislike about yourself?

One thing I'd tell my younger self

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

Imagine every challenge you faced, you faced with this approach. As I notice some changes in my own life of late, I find myself mourning the loss of what has come before. But it's a beautiful thing, when you find a crack of light in the ceiling of change and look into the space emerging, creating something new and equally as glorious. Hold onto that hope, and release the attachment to what was.

Something to consider

Just because it feels familiar doesn't mean it's right. 


Disordered eating used to feel comforting for me. Trashly behaved men used to feel safe to me. Overworking used to feel calming for me. Sometimes, all of these things still do. Because I spent so long struggling with them, and from a young age learned that these ways of being were the 'norm', my nervous system actually sometimes responds by regulating itself in response to these things. A very much dysregulating behaviour can, over time, feel regulating. The opposing behaviours: eating regularly; secure dating; taking rest - these can feel anxiety-inducing. So your Monday reminder to challenge where you feel that anxiety rise in your body and rather than immediately trying to shut it down, lean in and ask, is this anxiety highlighting where I need to do more work?

Journal on this - what feels familiar to you? Is is the healthiest, right thing or does it simply feel like home?

One thing to try this week

One thing to try this week

Wake up every day and say thanks for being alive.

I learned this from Oprah and did it for months and it slipped out of my morning routine and was recently replaced with breathwork and dancehall and twerking as I pull on my lulus. But I miss it. I miss the reminder each day of how lucky I am to be here, that genuinely each day is a gift. Happiness is great, but gratitude and calmness are easier targets. So I'm being intentional with it again, and I'd love for you to join me. Notice how it impacts your mood, your wellbeing and your acceptance of how the day shows up for you. As soon as your alarm goes off, wrap yourself in your duvet (or your partner) and say in your minds eye and heart, thank you.