The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
Am I using my discipline as a weapon against myself or as a tool love myself??
I know you're disciplined. You might not feel it if you're someone who struggles with overeating or binge eating (since you still say it's a self control problem no matter how many times I tell you otherwise), but you are. I just wonder, when did that discipline stop being helpful?
Journal on this - do you find purpose or identity in achievement and discipline? How does this manifest in your actions? Do these actions look like nourishment for your mind, body and soul, or punishment? Where can you channel this discipline into something nourishing and healthful for yourself?
Something to consider
When you say yes to one thing, you say no to another
As December envelops us, it presents a common time for us to put others first and their needs before our own. At times, this is a lovely thing to do, December can be so much about giving. But at what expense? Remember that every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to another. Yes to a social occasion you don't want to go to, no to time at home with your family or yourself. Yes to that extra work assignment, no to the few hours with your kids watching Christmas movies. Yes to one more chore on the list, no to the 20 minutes yoga that helps you show up as your best self for others.
One thing I'd tell my younger self.
Your biggest regrets will be the times you mistreated people.
I'm sure if you're reading this, you're not the type of person to intentionally mistreat another person, hurt or lie. But I'm also sure you're like me, and you've certainly mistreated or hurt someone or lied. The times I remember doing something like this, I still remember in my core. I still feel a bit ashamed of some things my 20 something self did. I don't know if telling myself this would have changed how I reacted to hard times (learning to respond not react, and continued development of self awareness is what changes this entire story), but I wish I'd have heard it anyway.
One thing to try this week
Act as if you've chosen everything to happen to you
Eckhart Tolle tells us to accept this moment as if we had chosen it. I don't think that's particularly easy when the moments are unbearably tough, but I don't often thing this self development stuff ever is particularly easy. I certainly don't feel comfortable to say I'll pretend I've chosen family illness and my friends' losses. All of that being said, I do like to get curious about what it would feel like to live this way, and in the lighter moments, I often allow myself to act as if I've chosen this. When I do, it creates this weird sense of power and interest as I ask myself 'what's the benefit of this situation, and what can I learn from it'? After all, so much of our suffering comes from our resistance of whatever arises in the present.
Try it this week - whatever comes up for you, act as if you've chosen it.
A few things to tell you...
Do you feel guilty for literally anything? For putting yourself first sometimes? Listen to this.
Do you want a new tool to help overcoming binge eating? Something you can start now for the entire christmas period? Listen to this.
Is it ok for influencers to edit their photos, and to call them out when they do? Here's what we think.
Are you a business owner AND a people pleaser? Here's why it's ruining your business.
One more thing...
Please share your favourite stuff.
I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.
