The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
What do my actions say about me?
James Clear said, "If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really want it. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Your actions reveal your true motivations.”
Journal on this - where do your actions lie? What do they show about your priorities? Is this right, for right now? Or is this avoidance?
Something to consider
"What is hidden from sight often increases in intensity.” - Mark Wolynn
Journal on this - what are you hiding from others and in hope, from yourself?
One thing I'd tell my younger self.
Don't mistake fear for intuition, and danger for chemistry.
I've been on quite a journey the past few years with my own romantic relationships and more so, my awareness around my behaviours. 35 years of picking emotional unavailable men culminated in what was the shittiest show of the year in 2020, and I realised I had to own up to my part in that. I was like a moth to an emotionally unavailable flame (in fact let's be compassionate and call me a butterfly because they're much cuter). I thought the butterflies and obsessive feelings were lust and chemistry and love. They weren't. They were danger. Red flags from the old ship of abandonment.
In my current relationship, I've found safety and security like I haven't experienced before. As a result? I've had moments of doubt, as I mistake the unfamiliarity of safety as uncertainty, intuition of its wrongness. The scary thing is, even healthy and secure can feel wrong if it's unfamiliar. I wish someone told me this sooner.
Journal on this - what feels familiar to you? Objectively speaking, would that be healthy to you? What patterns are you finding repeatedly showing up for you in life, that might feel safe to you, even if they're not helpful? How can you challenge these?
One thing to try this week
Wear your mistakes like a badge of honour
I listened to a podcast with the legend that is Dawn French earlier this week, and she said something that warmed my entire body, that if you own your mistakes and wear them like a badge of honour, you liberate yourself from the shame. I urge you this week to own your mistakes. No matter how big or small, talk about them, share them, laugh about them. You'll often see me on my stories talk about my cock-ups, and yes it's in part British self-depreciation (need to get our funnies from somewhere), but it's also to release any shame or insecurity I attach to them. Whenever you make a mistake this week, share it with someone, somehow...
A few things to tell you...
I'd love to hear from you - what or who would you like to hear more about / on the podcast? Team pod or mentoring - what would you love to listen to?
We talked about the impact of discrimination on eating disorder risk, the Zoe diet, if you should avoid oats and more on this weeks EIQ Nutrition podcast.
On the ETPHD team podcast, we covered destructive relationships, finding inner peace Miss World would be proud of and accepting ageing, all whilst Emilia got hit with an aggressive face explosion.
We chatted about posting 'trivial' fitness advice during dark world moments, managing client expectations, disagreeing with clients and more on the ETPHD mentoring pod.
One more thing...
Please share your favourite stuff.
I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.
