One question to ask yourself

Would I still care about it if social media didn't exist?

Would you still want to do the thing if you weren't going to post it on instagram? Would you still worry about how you looked if you weren't going to put the pictures on socials?  Would you say yes to the thing you don't want to do if you didn't feel the pressure of looking 'busy' or 'social' or 'fun' online? Would you worry about being single if you knew your ex wasn't watching your instagram?

The problem is not in your wants and your actions but in your need to perform for social media, so maybe just don't for a week and notice how you choose to do what you actually want to do and not what you feel you should...

Something to consider

You'll never respect yourself if you're a slave to people pleasing and external validation 

Many of the habits we'd like to change, would be easier to change if we had greater respect for ourselves and our bodies. But how do we expect to cultivate that self-respect if we're constantly reminding ourselves we are worth less than others. People pleasing, seeking constant external validation, putting others consistently before ourselves, these all confirm to us that we are 'less than'. If you believe you are indeed less than, how do you expect to strengthen your self respect, and therefore your habits?

Journal on this - do you identify as a 'people pleaser'? Do you (deep down) use that as a bit of a status symbol? What efforts are you making to change that? On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your respect for yourself and your body? How do you feel you sacrifice this to put others first? Some selflessness and people pleasing is legit often a nice quality, but the extent and impact of this varies greatly.

One thing I'd tell my younger self.

"Compare yourself to someone you admire not someone you envy"

I think it was Adam Grant I heard talk about this. I like it - admiration likely fosters growth and inspiration and progress. Envy likely fosters shame and risks our self-esteem, both of which are counterproductive for progress. It's also useful to compare to someone quite far ahead in that area that you're looking to progress in, as opposed to someone very similar. Be mindful of upwards social comparison - it can be both motivating and demoralising and it's super important you recognise what it does for you.

Journal on this - who do you find yourself in comparison with? Are they someone you admire or envy? How does the admiration show up for you in your feelings and your actions? How does the envy show up for you? 

One thing to try this week

"That is not mine' - don't take on other peoples' stuff

When someone snaps at you, they react to you in what feels like an unexpected way for them, or even they ignore you (WhatsApp woe) allow yourself to affirm, that is not mine, that's where they are right now, and let it go. Instead of getting defensive, hurt or reactionary yourself, check in and remind yourself that everyone has something going on, everyone has their own lens through which they see the world, and sometimes, that manifests in ways we feel weird about. Usually though, it's got nothing to do with us. Try it this week.

A few things to tell you...

I guested on 'That Gym Girl' podcast this week which was a lovely deviation from the norm and really brought to the forefront practical ways of supporting yourself. Listen here.

We've had a lot of kind messages about how good the ETPHD mentoring podcast is so thank you v much and listen to the latest Q&A where we spoke about putting your body on camera when you struggle with your body image, pricing, setting expectations for people you work with & improving your work focus with ADHD. 

On the ETPHD podcast we chatted about individual perceptions of being busy, breathwork, intermittent fasting and the birthday blues. 

On the EIQ nutrition podcast we chatted about AI, holiday supplements, the impact of dieting on taste, stupid menopausal opinions, and the challenge to follow evidence based nutrition advice instead of misinformation. 

The Binge Breakthrough programme sold out in 10 minutes which is WILD. We then got some more of the coaching team on board so we could support some more people and these spaces were sold out literally hours later. Thank you to everyone who trusts us at ETPHD to support you. You allow me to live my lifes purpose. If you missed out, join the waitlist in case we run another one. 

One more thing...

Please share your favourite stuff.

I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.