The weekly perspective
One question to ask yourself
Am I taking enough chances?
What chances did you take last week? Where were you vulnerable? Courageous? Where did you play it safe? Imagine waking up at 90 having played everything safe, gone with the 'smart' choice rather than the bold, the choice that felt familiar rather than the unknown. As someone reading this email, I take you as someone who wants personal growth. But you will never experience personal growth if you avoid taking chances.
As the lyrical genius and ultimate break-up song writer Cee-Lo Green reminds us, "you have to ask yourself, if you're not taking any chances, are you actually even living?"
Something to consider
It's curiosity, not criticism, that brings us closer to ourselves.
You can't heal your relationship with food and your body without curiosity. You can't build an authentic connection with another without curiosity. And you spend more time criticising yourself (and others), more than you do getting curious. Curiosity supports you to change, criticism stifles you where you are. So why choose the latter?
Journal on this - why do I do that? why do I think that? what am I feeling in that moment? where did this come from?
One thing I'd tell my younger self.
Failure is feedback.
I wasted a lot of time in crippling fear of failure when I was younger. Ironically, the anxiety that occurred a result of this fear not only made me fail more often, but never helped me deal the outcome of that failure either. When you go into situations embracing the opportunity to learn, you become less attached to the outcome, you're more at peace in the way you approach anything and experience an infinitely more wholehearted, fulfilling life because you're not afraid to just go for it.
Journal on this - where have you successfully failed recently? What did you learn? What will you change as a result? And on that note, where have you judged others for failing...?
One thing to try this week
Mindfully masturbate through edging.
It's the first of May, the month of masturbation. The month I whip out puns that make you wetter than an otters pocket. The month I toe the line between the gutter and science more impeccably than a cirque de Soleil act on the vegas strip on valentines day.
Instead of fixating on orgasm though, try to spend as much time as possible getting to know your body and what you really respond to. Build yourself up to come, stop, and then rest before starting again. No porn. No distractions. Pay attention to how it feels. If your mind wanders like it does in meditation, come back to the moment, the feeling. Try breathing in through your nose, into your belly, down into your pelvis. Notice the sensation change.
And finally, reflect on how you feel - before and after.
One more thing...
Please share your favourite stuff.
I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.
