It’s very difficult to achieve our goals if we don’t believe we can achieve them

I told everyone this week that I’m going through a new journey,
Solo fertility,
And other than my stomach embracing the pin cushion life,
There’s nothing to report.

The feedback I got surprised me,
But there were 2 really cool threads of thought that appeared,
And of course,
I wanted to share with my favourite people.

The first,
People still say ‘thanks for the honesty’,
Reminding me that authenticity and honesty is literally all people want,
So why are we so intent on being something we’re not,
Just to try and fit in?

The second,
People said it was ‘proof that we can do what we set our minds to’,
And as much as it’s a long and windy road ahead to actually ‘do it’,
If Gareth and Will didn’t appear in your head there then sorry we can’t be friends,
It made me think.

I work with a lot of people who don’t believe in themselves,
Who live comfortably in the zone of acceptance of that,
As if believing in themselves is ‘just not something they’d do’,
As if that’s ok.

The problem is,
In life we’d rather be right than make change,
So we act in a way that aligns with our self-beliefs,
It’s why we often fall into self-fulfilling prophecies.

Our feelings become our thoughts,
Our thoughts become our actions,
And it’s very difficult to achieve our goals,
If we don’t believe we deserve them.

Let’s walk through an example,
Shall we?

I don’t feel enough as I am,
If I can get my diet just right I’ll be achieving something,
Then I’ll feel good enough.

So I’ll track meticulously for a while,
Until one day I can’t because it’s life,
I eat a piece of cake,
I ruined my perfect plan,
I’m not good enough I knew it,
I don’t deserve this,
I may as well eat all of the cake,
I know I’m not enough,

Let’s be diet perfect and achieve again to feel enough.
Repeat.

It’s why with my clients we work through core beliefs,
Because you need to know what’s driving your behaviours,
So you can check in and think,
Is this the best way to achieve my needs?

Bodies are another one,
Let’s get the perfect body,
Then I’ll feel good enough,
Thanks society for giving us a step by step guide from the age of 12 on this,
Except the perfect body doesn’t exist,
And you will never feel acceptance through your body,
And you end up dieting and hating your body for every adult year of life.

Coaches,
You feel like an imposter,
So you don’t show up confidently,
Don’t achieve business growth,
Then confirm to yourself,
See?
I knew I wasn’t good enough.

Strive for things,
Shoot for the stars,
But you have to know that you’re worthy as you are,
Even if you don’t achieve them.

What belief system are you working with?
What belief are you using your body and food to change?
Are you acting to break out of that?
Or simply acting to prove yourself right,
That as you knew all along,
You’re not enough?