Emotional eaters need this

My stomach feels like there’s a party of five in there,
You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s the Mexican tap water I’ve been downing as though I faceplanted the tequila last night,
But to be quite frank,
I think my gut quite enjoys the legionnaires,
Make of that what you will.

You see,
It’s my brain,
My heart,
The undercurrent of uncertainty and fear that’s resulting in the legionnaires-type gut-type.

But we always do it,
Don’t we?

Go to food blaming for our digestion,
Instead of acknowledging that probably,
We’re anxious, stressed and haven’t slept a wink since the couple upstairs started having performative sex with the doors open.

You’d be forgiven for thinking my life was an absolute breezer right now,
Mexico sunshine and the cutest puppy to ever live,
But I’ve got a life-changer of a situation going on in the background,
And it’s filtering into every action I take.

This isn’t a pity party,
A seeking of attention,
If anything,
I actively (yet super appreciatively and kindly) reject that right now.

But yesterday I said to my best friend and business partner,
How cool is it,
To be able to ask ourselves,
What do I need?
And respond accordingly.

We are so privileged to be able to stop,
Check in with ourselves,
Ask ourselves what we need,
To have the capacity to provide ourselves with that.

There’s inherent white able-bodied privilege in this,
The ability to give ourselves what we need,
But I hope that we can all find relevance in this,
And own the power that we have.

Because we all have the ability to stop,
Name our physical and psychological feelings,
And navigate the management of them,
Even if we can’t eradicate them,
Because not all emotions can be ‘fixed’,
Not all feelings will ‘go away’,
But that’s not what emotional regulation is.

Emotional regulation means awareness,
Acknowledgement,
And modulation of our emotions.

You know with all the theories underlying emotional eating,
The one common denominator amongst them all?
It’s emotional dysregulation,
The inability to do just this.

Something my super smart therapist sister-in-law uses is this,
She asks her clients to check in and say,
What does my true self need right now?

Think about it,
What would your life look like if you used that question in the moments of choice?
When you feel out of sorts,
You snap at your partner,
Or can’t be assed going to the gym.

Before you emotionally eat,
What does my true self need right now?
Before you text your ex,
What does my true self need right now?

You need a hug,
You need fresh air,
You need connection,
Or attention.

It’s such a simple tip,
You know?
And such a power to have,
The ability to give ourselves what we need.

I ask you to implement it,
Just try it out,
Over this week and hopefully beyond,
Where you stop for a second,
Check in with yourself,
And in that stillness decipher,
What do I truly need?