Body image reflects how you think about yourself both physically and emotionally, and how you believe others think about you. It’s based on your own perceptions, and has very little basis in the reality of your body or appearance.

Body image has such a significant impact on your physical, mental and emotional health, impacting your confidence and self-worth among many other things. Building a positive and healthy body image is crucial in improving your relationship with yourself, so let’s delve into exactly how you can work towards improving your body image today.

1. Recognise how you feel about your body fluctuates.

Despite the fact we’re discussing how to improve and cultivate a more positive, healthy body image, it’s important to recognise that you won’t always love or even like your body. The idea of walking around feeling extremely confident, happy and satisfied with your body and size every day is, unfortunately, unrealistic for most of us.

Instead of putting pressure on yourself to love and adore your body for every minute of every day, release these expectations and simply aim to move towards body neutrality. Rather than expecting to feel admiration and awe each time you look in the mirror, try to feel neutral towards your body. Instead of adamantly fighting against any self-critical thoughts that show up, or attempting to force yourself to believe the polar opposite, simply acknowledge these thoughts and move towards focusing on things beyond your body. The idea of body neutrality emphasises the idea that you can inhabit your body without thinking excessively about how it looks, acknowledging your body is the vehicle or shell in which you move around the earth. Body neutrality recognises that your body is far from the most important or interesting thing about you.

Accept that days or moments where you don’t love your body or will occur, even for the most body-loving people among us. These times are normal and okay, and they will always pass. Part of cultivating a healthy body image is developing the strategies to sit through any discomfort that arises during times of body struggles. You learn to feel secure in the knowledge that these challenging moments will pass, and you’ll be okay. Some mornings, you might wake up feeling uncomfortable in your body for no reason at all. On other days, a comment or experience might trigger you to criticise and analyse your body in a negative way. But when you’ve worked on improving your body image, you know these feelings will pass. You no longer need to succumb to the urge to restrict your food, change your eating behaviours, or exercise excessively during these challenging moments. Instead, you can show yourself the compassion and kindness you deserve, and appreciate the hard work you’ve done to improve your body image, allowing you to navigate these inevitable challenges more calmly and assuredly. Recognising that these ups and downs in how you feel about yourself and your body are normal and okay is so important in improving your body image.

Fostering positive body image doesn’t mean never having hard days, it means sitting through them and not letting them impact the rest of your day. This concept is called body image flexibility, which refers to your ability to notice, without judgement, any intrusive or negative thoughts or feelings towards your body that arise without needing to act on them. Instead of giving into the urge to respond or react in unhealthy ways, such as restricting food intake or overexercising, when these thoughts come up you can recognise that these feelings don’t need to control you. You can choose to act with self-compassion, and continue to focus on other values and areas of your life without needing to suppress these harmful thoughts using unhealthy coping strategies.

Interestingly, research shows improvements in body image flexibility are linked to reduced reliance on unhealthy eating-related coping strategies and improvements in mental health. So don’t expect yourself to be perfect, or these thoughts to vanish overnight, instead be flexible and compassionate with yourself, recognising you don’t have to be a victim of them when they do pop up.

2. Develop self-soothing strategies for moments of negative feelings towards your body.

In acknowledging that you will inevitably experience times when you feel more critical or judgmental towards your body, it’s important to develop a toolkit of strategies you can turn to during challenging moments. These tools can help you self-soothe and move through any difficult emotions or experiences that come up. This can look many different ways for different people, but the key is to build an arsenal of tools which help you feel calm, safe, self-aware, and more in control of your own emotions and urges.

 Examples of strategies which can help you self-soothe or work through difficult experiences with your body include:

-       Meditation

-       Breathwork

-       Journalling

-       Going for a gentle walk in nature

-       Enjoying a calming yoga flow

-       Talking to a friend or loved one

-       Spending time enjoying a hobby that makes you feel confident, inspired or more like yourself!

Whatever works for you, when you notice the critical or mean thoughts around your body or appearance begin to emerge, turn to one of these strategies instead of choosing to dwell and spiral in those difficult emotions. This will help you navigate out of the experience more quickly. It also allows you to feel comforted and safe in trying times, knowing these moments of negative body image are simply hurdles which you’re more than capable of navigating and overcoming.

3. Be grateful for what your body does over how it looks.

It’s often tempting to focus on how your body looks, judging your value and worthiness of being loved according to aesthetics. However, in order to improve your relationship with your body, you need to move away from this emphasis on looks, and towards a focus on functionality. Take notice of the endless things your body allows you to do, and learn to appreciate and show it gratitude, instead of getting hung up on perceived flaws or imperfections in its appearance.

This is what we call body functionality. There are two parts to this that are really important for cultivating a positive body image: awareness and appreciation. Not only do we want to be aware of what our body allows us to do, but we must practise active gratitude for this too. So instead of simply paying attention to the many things your body can do, and the sensations it allows you to experience, but then mindfully go a step further to appreciate what your body does. For example, rather than simply noticing, ‘My heart is beating,’ you then focus on appreciation, thinking, ‘I’m grateful my heart is beating and keeping me alive.’ This is especially important in recognising body functionality isn’t linked to physical appearance, but instead is a practice of gratitude and appreciation for your body and its many functions.

You can practise awareness and appreciation by:

-       Keeping a gratitude journal about your body. Every day (or maybe whenever you notice a critical thought pop up), write down five ways in which your body allows you to function and move around on earth, instead of how it looks. If you’re struggling, start with the prompt “My body allows me to…” Then, underneath, write five things you’re grateful for your body for. They can be expansions on your first five points, or entirely different functions altogether.

-       Whenever you notice a thought related to your appearance (positive or negative), redirect it by focusing on body functionality. Notice you’re analysing your arms? Replace the thought with one about what your arms can do.

-       Practising body mindfulness. Set aside a couple of minutes each day to simply sit and be in your body. Feel the sensations you’re experiencing, and take a moment to notice just some of the many functions your body is working to perform in that moment. You’re breathing. Your heart is beating. Your blood is flowing around your body, delivering nutrients and oxygen to your cells. Appreciate what a miracle and a gift these things are - be grateful.

Rather than dwelling on the little bit of extra weight you may hold on your arms, reflect on how those arms allow you to hug the people you love. Instead of obsessing over the lingering baby weight around your middle, be grateful for the fact your body grew an entire, beautiful human - how incredible is that!

At the end of the day, your body is your home on earth - it’s the vehicle which allows your heart to beat, it allows you to breathe, it allows you to walk and love and smile and cry. When you switch to feeling gratitude towards your body’s functionality, you leave less space for criticising or judging your appearance, and begin to realise that your body is far more than a way to judge or appraise your worth and value. You recognise how capable and incredible your body is, regardless of how it looks. You begin to respect your body and treat it accordingly, allowing you to improve your relationship with your body and yourself in the process.

4. Expand your world beyond just your appearance.

Many of us fall into the trap of using our bodies or appearance to determine our self-worth and confidence. But it’s time to recognise this simple fact: you are so much more than your body.

Redefining your identity and leaning into all the many little things which make you you is crucial in learning that your worth isn’t dependent on your appearance whatsoever.

Think about the things your loved ones would say they like most about you. They’d say they love the way you make them feel, the way you support and listen to them, the way you make them laugh, your kindness and compassion, your dedication and hard work, the memories you’ve shared. They certainly wouldn’t say their favourite thing about you is the way you look or the size of your body! The things which make you you are entirely separate from your body and appearance.

Learn to broaden your experience of the world beyond yourself and your body. Invest time discovering hobbies and interests which bring you joy, and make you feel comfortable and at home within yourself. Spend time doing things you love, with the people you love. And spend time thinking about other things outside of your body - current affairs, politics, feminism, you name it! This will allow you to develop a sense of identity, value and self-worth in things outside of your body, so you can spend less time dwelling on how you look, and begin to focus on the type of person you want to be.

No matter what shape, size or weight you may be, you deserve to feel self-love and acceptance. You deserve to be appreciated by the people around you, because of who you are, not because of how you look. Improving your body image and developing a sense of self distinct from your body allows you to recognise you’re worthy, loved and accepted purely because you exist, and because you’re you.

5. Stop playing the comparison game.

Short and sweet: stop comparing yourself and your body to others! The fact is, you could eat the exact same diet, do the exact same exercise and so on as the person next to you, and you’d still look completely different. So why on earth would you compare your body to theirs? It’s like comparing a chicken against a tree - they’re not on the same playing field whatsoever!

Genetics and many other factors impact your body and appearance, and make each of us completely unique and individual. And if every body is different, then why would we ever use body shape and size as a currency by which to judge ourselves and those around us? If you begin to recognise that bodies are not an indicator of health status or worthiness, you remove the need to constantly compare yourself to those around you. Instead, you can shift towards appreciating the individuality of each person’s body, again recognising all the functions they perform and the endless aspects of life they allow you to enjoy.

Take steps to help yourself avoid the comparison trap. Unfollow anyone on social media who makes you feel lesser, or anyone you notice you tend to compare yourself against. Spend less time with people who tear you down and criticise you to make themselves feel better, and more time with people who lift you up and make you feel confident and happy in who you are. Resist the urge to compare - it’s a one-way ticket to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

6. Recognise your negative thoughts and stop them in their tracks.

As with bad body image days, negative thoughts about yourself, your body and your appearance will still come up. And that’s okay! But becoming more aware of your thought patterns and noticing these cruel, damaging thoughts when they arise helps you to replace them with more positive, kind sentiments instead.

In observing any damaging thoughts you have about your body when they occur, you create a distance between yourself and that thought, recognising you are not your thoughts. This gives you the chance to override the thought, replacing it with an affirming, compassionate one instead. For example, if you notice you’re thinking, “My body looks disgusting today, look at the size of my thighs,” replace the thought with, “I’m feeling so strong today, I was able to lift heavier weights than before, and I’m really proud of my body for allowing me to do so.”

If you find it really difficult to rewrite the self-criticism into a kind or positive thought, ask yourself what you’d say to a friend or loved one who was having that same damaging thought. Would you tell them they’re much more than their body? Would you show them love, understanding, acceptance? Do the same for yourself.

Or, for some people, a focus on neutrality is more appropriate and achievable. So instead of redirecting a critical thought towards a sentiment like, “I love my arms, they’re beautiful,” you might simply say to yourself, “My arms are functional, they are fine. They don’t impact my worthiness or how I feel about myself.” Then, you can continue to focus on other things in your day. Whether you choose to redirect the critical thoughts with kind alternatives or neutral sentiments, the emphasis is on catching the negative thoughts early, before they take hold and permeate your sense of self and how you feel towards yourself.

In developing self-awareness and catching these harmful thoughts before they can take hold of you, you’re able to turn negative thoughts into more compassionate ones. Given that your thoughts shape your reality, the more you practise redirecting your thoughts, the more you begin to naturally feel more positively, kindly and compassionately towards yourself and your body, until it becomes almost second nature to speak to yourself as you would someone you love!

Improving your body image takes time, practice and patience. But it’s so rewarding and meaningful. You deserve to have a positive relationship with your body, and to enjoy the flow-on effects this has on how you feel about yourself. By realising your body is the least important or interesting thing about you, and it doesn’t determine your identity, self-worth or ability to love and be loved, you can begin to spend less time dwelling on and criticising your appearance, and instead lean into the person you want to be. You deserve to love and accept yourself, and working on building a positive, accepting relationship with your body is an excellent step towards achieving this.