One question to ask yourself

"Am I seeing this for what it is, or for what I want it to be?"

When I realised that so many of my choices were made from a place of ego, it changed the way I handled everything, most notably in that moment, relationships. We identify with having a partner, a good job, a certain way of living, the material things, the sporting achievements, the 'fitness' body, so much so that it forms part of our ego. It becomes us. We get an ego boost from achieving in that area (gosh isn't it amazing when the fittest man in the room wants you?), so much so that we don't check in with actually, is this even serving me? The fittest man in the room could also be a total knob, but our egos are so preoccupied with the validation from having his attention that we convince ourselves that's what we want. We maintain the excessively lean body as 'us', because it's celebrated by others, whilst we're miserable, as horny as a rock and hungry, like, all of the time.

Journal on this - what are you holding on to? If you took other peoples' perceptions out of the equation, would you still want the same things? If so, why? If not, what's stopping you from giving it up?

One thing I'd tell my younger self

Wear sunscreen.

Self-explanatory. Like a broken record from me. But something as basic as sunscreen use is an indicator of the worth and respect you give your body. As the sun begins to creep its head around the clouds, let's make this the year you wear it every day.  I feel like Gen Z have got this covered - it's the rest of us are that lagging.

Something to consider

"How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the every ones that can break us open and help us to blossom into who we are meant to be." - Elizabeth Lesser   

We break. But we break open. The shit is watered by the storm and eventually, a field of sunflowers blooms. Whatever it is that's tough for you right now, hold on to the reality of its transience, and the hope of what is to come as a result?

Journal on this - what's a hard thing you've been through in the past? What lessons, growth or positives have you found in the situation? How did it lead you here? Please don't attempt this with something really hard and heavy right now, that's one for 10 years down the line. There's no room for toxic positivity in our Monday's. 

One thing to try this week

Exercise empathy for those who are not in their best moments.

What would it look like if you did this? I often worry it sounds patronising, to remind myself, people are doing their best from where they are. But then I realise, I'd rather choose kindness than anger, frustration or judgement any day, even with the risk of perceived condescension. I realise that this creates space for me to show myself that own compassion when I act in a way that I wish I didn't. Can you choose empathy over all else in those challenging moments with another person?

"How quickly I judge, and therefore diminish their humanity."