One question to ask yourself

Am I being nice or am I being passive? 

Journal on this - think of a situation that is hurting you, yet you continue to stay silent on, continue not to vocalise your boundaries or where you're being hurt by that. It may be that this is no fault of any one person and this is something to work through. It may be too, that someone is knowingly causing you harm, hurting you or disrespecting you, and you're letting it slip under the guise of 'nice'. More on this below.

Something to consider

If you fill your head with judgement, there's no room for curiosity

This will mostly relate to yourself, the judgement you consistently feel towards yourself and your actions. But often, those of us who judge ourselves also judge others for similar things. Can you replace that judgement with curiosity? Why might you have taken that action? Why might they be having that way?

One thing I'd tell my younger self.

"If being nice means pretending you're not hurt by someone causing you harm, you are not being nice, you are being passive" - Minaa B

This was given to me from the universe last week because she knew I needed the reminder. The new form of toxic positivity is toxic zen. It's another way to frame anger in women in a shameful light. It's ok to be angry, to be vocal, to voice that something is not ok - it doesn't make you less 'nice' or less 'likeable'. 

One thing to try this week

Express a feeling that you deem 'negative'

Just try it, once, in a safe and loving space, once you've taken the time to ensure you're responding instead of reacting. In a calm, communicative manner, can you vocalise that feeling directly to a person, instead of to yourself later, or to friends?

A few things to tell you...

Saturday 27th April - save the date. ETPHD event details are coming this week. As last time, we've kept the venue pretty small because the whole idea is that we connect with you and get a chance to talk to any of you that actually want to talk. Solo attendees are especially welcome. 

Learn all about supporting yourself through menopause with this special podcast with Georgia 

Life kicking you in the nuts whilst you're trying to run a business or progress in your career? Listen to this

The one thing Em and I ever argued about is intuitive eating (we're not like other couples) - we tackle it here

Do you find yourself falling back into old 'bad' habits? Learn how to stop here

Understand how your body image might change around pregnancy and why it's so important to do the work before you get pregnant (where possible) here

One more thing...

Please share your favourite stuff.

Thank you all for continuing to share your favourite Monday email quotes. I see them all. I know how much I love seeing impactful quotes from strangers, so it means a lot that you allow me to hopefully be that person for someone else. f there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.