One question to ask yourself

If I look back on the past week(end), what would I guess my values were?

This is one of the best ways to identify if you're living in line with your values. Taking an outside perspective, stepping back, what would someone assume your values were, based on the way you've lived the past week?

Journal on this - what do you need to do more / less of? What do you need to change? In order for your actions to make sense and align with your values?

Something to consider

Dismissing addictions as bad habits or self-destructive behaviour comfortably hides their functionality in your life

Get curious about your bad habits. What's their function for you? Instead of cursing yourself for them, getting frustrated at them, vowing to squash them down never to return - lean in. Become aware of them - notice when they show up - identify the role they play - then consider as an adult, is that the most helpful way to meet that need? What would be better?

One thing I'd tell my younger self.

"If you make someone else's needs more important than your own, then you have low self-esteem & will likely fall into co-depedent relationships. If you make your needs more important than someone else's, then you're selfish. If you make someone else's needs as important as yours, you're likely going to be in a loving relationship. ” - Jillian Turecki

Your weekly reminder that putting someone else's needs repeatedly before your own is not admirable nor helpful to lasting, healthful connections. Where do your needs come in your list of priorities? 

One thing to try this week

Ask for help. 

Look at you squirming. I realised last week how much help people in my life had given me - taking care of my house, doing an airport run, managing some business stuff, programming my training. I'd be screwed right now if people weren't helping me. I don't know how I spent 30 years of my life thinking I could do it myself (although I am a dab hand with a power drill).

Sometimes, just keeping ourselves alive can feel completely exhausting, let alone other people, careers or households. Sometimes, it does feel a lot. But when we ask for help we're gaining connection. We're not failing at being an admirable independent woman, we're giving others the opportunity to be needed. That's a gift for everyone. 

Every day this week. Ask one person for help. Notice how you feel in your body when you do.

A few things to tell you...

Exercise and hunger. Cancer and sugar intake. Hormones and mood. Want to learn more about any of these? Listen to the latest EIQ podcast here.

Build your confidence with this podcast.

One more thing...

Please share your favourite stuff.

I'm really trying to have a more positive impact this year (it's where this Monday email spawned from). If there's something you really relate to or know someone who'd benefit from something in this email, please share it and pay it forward. Words are magical, and if I've learned anything from writing these emails to you for years, you never know when someone needs to hear the exact thing you've got to say.