Frolicking in the fields of hay,
Theresa May in her best tracksuit is immediately where I go when I use this example,
And I’m here for it to be honest,
We all love a frolic.
 
I was speaking to one of the legends I work with yesterday,
I was explaining the way our brains work,
Why,
Even without realising,
We turn to food at challenging emotional times.
 
I say food because that’s why many of you read these emails,
But you could replace food with sex,
Alcohol,
Shopping,
Over-exercising.
 
You know the moments I mean,
When you find yourself labia-deep in the biscuit tin,
Labia-deep in a biscuit tin is quite the visual you're welcome,
And when you’ve finished overeating,
Before resolving it’s the last time,
You realise you can’t even remember why you started.
 
You see,
Our brains know what’s familiar,
What’s been repeated over our lifetime,
They don’t know that overeating isn’t helping us,
In fact,
Often they think it’s the opposite.
 
Imagine Theresa in her field of hay,
A path carved out from her dancing through the middle,
Trodden flat so it’s an easy route down which to frolic,
That’s the path you started to carve out as a younger version of you,
You’ve maybe even danced on it for 50 years. 
 
When you first felt something challenging,
And found that food numbed that out,
You started carving out that path,
And now,
Many years later,
The path is the simplest route down which to frolic,
The frolic of least resistance if you will.
 
Overeating, binge eating, overexercising, dating shit men, drinking,
Whatever your coping strategy,
It now feels like home,
It might actually transiently soothe your nervous system,
Even though objectively,
It’s no longer serving you. 
 
Personally,
I’ve experienced this with food,
Spending,
And men,
Love me a trifecta.
 
It’s no surprise that as I healed my relationship with food,
My relationship with money,
My choice in men,
They all significantly improved,
And yes I know my relationship with men took it’s time thanks friends who are reading this I know.  
 
These difficult choices,
These potentially ‘self-sabotaging’ behaviours,
They feel like home,
But the great thing is,
Our brains can change,
Neuroplasticity is magic.
 
As you continue to be intentional with your habits,
Every time you choose an alternative ending,
You self-soothe with connection instead of overeating,
You take a rest day when you feel anxious instead of running,
You say no to the knight in red flag armour,
You start to tread a new path.
 
Sometimes,
You’ll find yourself falling down the path of least resistance,
You’ll overeat when you’ve been moving away from it,
You’ll wake up next to someone who reminds you of that one ex you thought you’d got rid of,
And you’ll remind yourself,
This isn’t a relapse,
It’s a natural course for my brain to take,
And it’s ok,
Because I know what I need to do to continue building my new path.
 
Frolicking in a new space feels daunting,
It takes effort,
Vulnerability,
The risk of getting lost,
Of being caught mid-uncoordinated and v uncool move,
But eventually,
That new path will feel like home,
It will feel like the safest space.
 
That’s where my client is finding herself,
Tentatively frolicking in a new direction.
When you’re ready to do the same,
Join us to work through your own path,
Because life is too short not to frolic freely.