I didn’t orgasm until I was 23,
But let’s begin at the start,
A little foreplay before we slip right into it.

I was recently listening to a podcast with the CEO of Ann Summers,
Jacqueline Gold CBE,
One of Britain’s’ richest women,
And a woman we can credit for empowering us to find orgasms since before we were born.

She started working for them at 19,
Became the CEO in her 40s,
Despite being notoriously ‘shy’,
Only 5 foot 1,
And a woman in the 80s,
A decade even before marital rape was made a crime.

She went into board rooms with men who told her ‘women aren’t interested sex’,
Lols sorry for your wife mate,
And after a childhood of sexual abuse,
Grew a company out of empowering women to enjoy sex,
To claim their bodies back.

I also listened to another podcast on my travels,
My therapist ghosted me,
If you haven’t listened to this then get on it,
If I see any woman laughing in the street, I immediately credit the podcast,
And the girls were laughing about how they didn’t orgasm until they were 23,
As I laughed along knowingly,
Because, despite being in a 3-year long relationship from the age of 20,
I too,
Could relate,
Fudging patriarchy.

Anyway,
This got me thinking,
Not about my next vibrator purchase,
Nor re-auditioning the finger puppets,
Nor about my next attempt at what people call dating,
But about the choices we make as women,
And the impact we can have.

Three quotes from Jacqueline Gold that I want to share:

“You can be shy but still have a fire in your belly”,
Because girls,
I watch you using introvert and shy as a reason to stay small,
Quiet,
But if you truly want something,
Truly have passion,
You have to let that out and run with it,
Your shy and introverted blanket serves only to make you more shy and more introverted.

“Courage comes before confidence”
Because women,
We have to stop waiting to be confident before making a step,
We will never be confident if we don’t do the thing we’re scared of,
To prove to ourselves we can actually do the thing.

Whether that be improving your relationship with food,
Stopping dieting,
Starting dieting,
Or starting your own business,
Confidence comes after action,
Way after.

“Choose a bias towards optimism”
Because people,
We have a choice in how we frame our situations,
And that means acknowledging the shit,
But choosing our response to the shit.
Rubbing it into our oh-so-cared-for pores,
Or being grateful we stood in it in our old Nikes,
Instead of the sparkling overpriced designer trainers back at the house.

If we are now at a place where we can own our orgasms,
Build world leading businesses from our passion and hard work,
Overcome adversity and still succeed,
Then we owe it to ourselves,
To the younger women around us,
To show up for us all.

To set the example,
This is what success looks like when it’s aligned to my values,
This is what a good relationship with food looks like,
This is what body autonomy looks like,
And this is what love of self and others looks like.

Because as Maya Angelou said,
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels.
Life’s a bitch.
You’ve got to go out and kick ass.