It was like a scene from Braveheart,
The little rat swaying injured on the cobblestone path,
Sporadically falling to the ground,
Before laying still under the afternoon sun.
 
After weeks of my neighbours reporting the presence of rats,
I’d been keen to get rid of any that might be at the bottom of my garden,
But now the time was here,
I was surprised to find myself crying at the sight of a dying rodent on my concrete.
 
It’s been a day of chasing salty waterfalls,
A couple of coaches I work with were feeling their feelings on our calls,
My hormones had me crying at some trash true crime show,
And now Rattatoulle has tipped me over the edge.
 
I’m writing this email under the throws of my cosiest blanket,
Accompanied by a share bag of skips,
An elite snack much like myself,
Choosing to do the work I find restful and rejuvenating.
 
There was a time in my life I didn’t cry for over a year,
An entire 12+ months,
With work stress,
Boyfriend stress,
The exhaustion of working full time and building a business,
The clumsiness of an ox so you know I had some physical injuries,
And I didn’t cry once.
 
Now I’m dehydrating myself for a rat.
 
I know what you’re thinking,
But Emilia,
We’ve seen your exes,
You’ve cried many buckets for many rats,
And you would be correct,
But we're digressing.
 
People love to throw around the concept of ‘feeling your feelings’,
They say,
Just feel your feelings babe,
Don’t eat them,
As if it’s a conscious choice we’re making.

As If we want to eat an entire stuffed crust pizza,
Or do 25,000 steps when we're tired,
Or not get dressed for 24 hours,
As means of numbing ourselves.
 
If I knew what feelings I was avoiding Brenda,
Then I probably wouldn’t be avoiding them in the first place.
 
What would it be like,
To notice our feelings,
Meet them in the moment,
And avoid leaning on dysfunctional habits to supress or distract us from them,
Avoid becoming dysregulated to the point of it impacting our day-to-day tasks.
 
When we do this,
We avoid the dysregulation,
The agitation,
The unhelpful habits and behaviours.
 
Simply correctly labelling our emotions helps to regulate our nervous system,
Which will leave us feeling calmer,
It’s pretty wild.
 
Here’s some ETPHD coaching magic for you,
A 3-step tool to get better at this.
 
Step 1
When you notice your state shift,
Be that agitation,
Frustrated,
On edge,
Take just 1 minute to notice,
Where do I feel this feeling in my body?
 
Do this at least once a day.
 
Step 2
Recognise if these physiological sensations noted in step 1 are manifestations of hyper- or hypo-arousal,
Do you feel super alert,
Anxious,
Over stimulated?
Or like you want to nap on the sofa,
Hide away,
And avoid doing much of anything.
 
Do this after step 1, at least once a day.
 
Step 3
Complete a vipassana meditation,
A traditional Buddhist meditation that,
When performed consistently,
Will help you get more connected to your body.
 
And lucky for you,
I’ve recorded one for you,
Which I gave as a live class to ETPHD clients and monthly members,
That I’m giving you for free,
By clicking here.
 
Because learning to feel your feelings will transform not only your relationship with food,
But your stress,
Your optimism,
And your resilience.
 
Have a great,
Fluid-filled weekend.
 
I’m always here,
Em x