Sassy Emilia,
That’s what she calls me,
When my tolerance gets tested,
And my inner petulant child,
Who threw regular tantrums on the kitchen floor,
Was referred to as Violet Elizabeth Bott,
And was threatened with an all-girls private school
Comes out to play.

Sassy Emilia,
My business partner and best friend says,
Is welcome here.

Many things in my life have changed recently,
A year that started with a simple ‘contentment’ tequila ‘cheers’,
With associated basic boomerang of course,
Has already found me catapulted into chaos,
And just about keeping my footing,
On a ground that is stone cold icy,
And for the most part,
Pretty treacherous.

The sass comes out,
You see,
When these life changes happen,
And I see you wasting your lives,
Your energy,
Your thoughts,
On things that truly,
Wholeheartedly,
Do not matter in the slightest.

Let’s take period bloat,
A natural by-product of being a menstruating person,
Without illness or issue,
A jump in scale weight,
Feelings of being larger than life,
Gosh Backstreet Boys I miss you,
Something that cannot be controlled,
Nor needs to be.

Or take that person,
Be that a loved one or stranger online,
Who has clearly shown that they are not good enough for you,
Not your type,
Not giving you the energy or respect that you need,
From whom you continue to seek attention,
Explanation or apology,
Attempt to change them,
Even though they have shown you they are unworthy.

We can all think of the things we give too much energy to,
Worrying about other peoples’ perceptions of us,
About offending people,
Although with the vitriol towards Molly Mae and her 24 hour days, this generational worry is hardly surprising
About a kg of scale weight,
Or a piece of cake.

Is this really what you want to spend your life on?
This one,
Precious life we’re given,
That throws us enough shade as it stands,
Without us adding more for shits and giggles?

Me and my family,
We’re going through a toughie right now,
And after a long time at home earlier this year,
I snapped for the first time at my mum,
I felt awful.

Was it understandable?
Sure.
Did I benefit from beating myself up over it?
No.
Could I choose in that moment to apologise?
Check the way I was behaving,
And choose something different?

Of course, I could,
I chose to put the energy into checking my responses,
Apologising,
Then moving on,
Instead of a guilt and shame cycle for the rest of the day.

Life’s tough,
Stop making it tougher for yourselves.

We can’t choose our emotions,
But we can choose the thoughts we attach to those emotions,
We can choose to respond not react,
And we can choose where the hell we put our energy.

I, Sassy Emilia, don’t pander to the irrelevant stuff,
The places where we have an active choice,
Because we all have a responsibility to say,
This is what matters to my life,
And this stuff,
The stuff I that can’t control,
It’s unworthy of my energy,
And I choose not to put it there anymore.

My clients know this,

Because they start with many of these struggles,
And I support them because they’re showing up,
They’re doing the work,
Which means there’s no pandering,
Only pride when they break free,
And a hell of a lot more energy for life again.

I also get it,
I tracked a scone at a funeral once,
I put that much energy into a scone that I whipped out MFP at a damn funeral,
I know, ew.
So I know it’s not a snap your fingers easy decision,
It’s work.

But me pandering to you,
You pandering to yourself,
It isn’t helping you.

Take action,
Ownership.
This is the only today you have,
How do you want to spend it?

Think about it,
Where else could that energy go?