Four hours of exercise a day,
That’s what the question asker used to do,
When she asked on Instagram,
How do I moderate this?

I’m sure some of you reading this think,
Christ I wish I had 4 hours to exercise a day,
But do you,
Really?

When I talk about reducing your obsession with food,
Your body image,
I ask you,
What would you spend your time on,
If you weren’t overthinking these things?

How much better would your life look,
If you spent more time on the joy,
And less on your macros?

But something I often neglect to say,
Out of kindness more so than forgetfulness,
Is the reality that maybe it wouldn’t be more joyful,
That actually,
Overthinking food and your body is serving to protect you,
From the reality that actually,
You don’t find joy in your life.

That’s not to say you’re a miserable bugger,
Or that certainly it’s your reason why,
But more so that maybe,
Your lack of purpose,
Perceived love and joy,
Is what’s driving you to overthink your food,
Or indeed overeat,
And overtrain.

Maybe,
You need to spend less effort trying to obsess less over these things,
And more time considering,
Do I find purpose here?

I see this with mums often,
Who’ve chosen to dedicate their lives to their babies,
And as those babies go off to live their lives and age,
Food and exercise focus increases,
To hide the re-emerging feelings of lack of purpose.

I see it in those who dislike their jobs,
But because of sunk costs of uni and promotions,
Continue to stay and progress,
Coming home unable to feel at peace,
So take it out on their partners,
And find lack of peace there, too.

In those who struggle with friendships,
Forever trying to fit in,
Belong by being what they ‘should’ be,
Afraid to be their beautiful soulful weird wee selves,
So never establishing that true connection,
Or those best friendships.

So maybe,
Imagining what your life would be without food preoccupation,
Over exercising and overeating,
Isn’t what you need,
And really,
What you need is this.

Ask yourself,
Do I feel fulfilled?
Do I know my purpose?
Do I feel connected?
Do I give and receive love?
Do I feel deep joy?
Am I satisfied?
Where, if not, would benefit from my energy?

Because you deserve it,
You know?
A weird, authentic, connected, fulfilled, joyful, messy wholehearted life,
You deserve it.