Before reading on today, I’d love you to ask yourself:
 
“What one aspect of my life would I like to change?”
 
Think about it,
Visualise why you want to change it,
Then read on.
 
Welcome to your guide:
 
12 ways to stay stuck.
 
Wait for the confidence to take action.
Instead of building confidence by doing the thing (and thereby proving to yourself that you can do it), wait until the confidence just comes from nowhere and you’ll feel 100% sure you can do the hard thing.
 
Repeat the things you’ve been doing until this point.
They feel safe, you know them, they’ve got you here, and they’ll continue to keep you here. 
 
Avoid the problem
This has worked so far. It might have led to dysfunctional habits, like emotional eating, under or overexercising, more alcohol than you’d like, but that’s ok.
 
Go it alone
Support systems only serve to meet you with empathy, provide a space for you to face the problem head on, and give you advice to move you in a new direction. 
 
Criticise yourself for staying stuck
When you punish yourself through self-criticism, you feel like shit, and when you feel like shit, you’re more likely to turn to your bad habits that keep you stuck (and it’s much easier then to criticise yourself again).
 
Blame everyone else and your circumstances
There are so many reasons it’s harder for you. These are legit. You’re the only one who can take action and change things, but still, it’s not your fault so why should you?
 
Set huge goals
This will make it much harder to achieve them, so you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed, and less likely to take action.  This is especially useful if you struggle with your confidence. 
 
Avoid failure at all costs
Failure is a necessary part of growth. Avoid failure, avoid growth, stay stuck. Score. 
 
Base your goals on what you ‘should’ do, not what’s most important to you
This will reduce your comfort with which you do things, reduce your intrinsic motivation (the type of motivation that’s super helpful for long-term change). It might keep other people happy, but thankfully, will also keep you stuck.
 
Base your happiness on the end point of your journey.
You’ll be miserable throughout and won’t find the joy in the work. So you won’t want to do the work. So you’ll stay stuck.
 
Avoid accountability
Writing down and sharing your goals with someone else means you’ll have to actually go for them (or take the ego hit of not). Regular accountability will only serve to remind you of what you haven’t done, or make you feel good about the stuff you have done. Safest way to stay stuck is to avoid even mentioning what you really want to achieve. 
 
Assume you know best
Other people will only provide helpful insight and new direction. They might even have more experience than you. Hearing that will only leave you feeling resentful that you haven’t taken action. So don’t ask anyone else for help – you know what’s best.
 
Just something to think about.
 
Have a great weekend,
I’m always here,
Em x